I Think I Killed Brittany Murphy

by: the Admiral

Have you ever wished something would happen and then it happened. Like, "man, I wish the phone would ring right now," and then bam, 3 days later you receive a phone call.

Anyway, as much as I enjoy the seminal “Rolling with the Homies” scene from Clueless, I’ve always personally hated Brittany Murphy. It’s rare for me to care enough about someone I know to hate them, so to hate someone I’ve never met takes a lot. It could have been the voice, the butter face (as in, her body is okay, BUT HER face; strugglin'!), or the string of terrible movies she was actually paid to 'act' in.

So last December I was flipping back and forth between Karate Kid Part III & Bloodsport and the tweener channel was some garbage B.M. movie. I can’t remember if I thought it, or said it outloud, but the words were definitely, “Jeez, Brittany Murphy, why can’t she just die.”

I found out 2 days later that she was found dead in her Hollywood Hills apartment. I guess she is rolling with the homies in heaven now.