Friday, July 2, 2010

Advice to Michael Vick

The AP is reporting that the police have not ruled out Vick as a suspect or person of interest in a shooting at his Virginia Beach birthday party last week. Apparently the person who was killed in the shooting was a co-defendant who testified against the quarterback in Vick's dogfighting case that sent him to jail for 18 months.

The details are still a bit murky but if DBSF could give Michael Vick any advice it would be A) move out of Southeast Virginia as a string of unfortuitous circumstances seem to have befallen football's once brightest star in that geographic locale, and B) don't do anything. Literally, in your free time limit physical movement. DBSF would even advise Vick to be constantly conscious of all lateral arm movements.

Find a chair, preferably a padded, comfortable, odorless one and recline in it. If anyone--friend, family member, stranger--mentions the word club, matter of fact if they mention anything that rhymes with club, like flub, or mub, take their card out of your Rolodex, rip it up, and move on with things. In fact, its probably best to avoid social situations in general as less and less seems to go right for you in them. DBSF suggests you befriend some esoteric, recluse like Russian mathematician, Grigori Perelman. Sit in his St. Petersburg flat, with Grigori and Grigori's mom/ matb and discuss analytic and geometric topology or something.

1 comment:

  1. babhabhabhahbhabhabhabhbhahbh dbsf u crazy!