Thursday, July 8, 2010

Monday's (Sunday**) Money Lines

by: the Admiral

*With no games on the MLB schedule for Monday, July 12th, MML will be granting your champagne wishes and caviar dreams with Sunday's games this week.

Monday’s (Sunday) Money Lines: The following picks are for entertainment purposes only; unless you gamble, in which case you are already 10 TapouT T-shirts in the red. (Picks are for 100 units on the money line unless otherwise noted).

Season Total: +276 units – Click here for last week’s detailed results.

Seeing Atlanta in 1st place in comforting. It’s been quite a few years since we’ve had the pleasure of seeing Chipper and the Braves qualify for, and get booted early from, the playoffs. Pick: NYM

CIN@PHI:Phillies 48-year-old starting pitcher Jamie Moyer is desperately trying to get his fastball back up to 88 mph so that it can travel back in time to a year in which it could actually strike somebody out. Pick: PHI

The Washington Nationals front office was a little disappointed after hearing Stephen Strasburg’s remarks to MML after a recent 6-5 win over the New York Mets; “It’s nice to come to New York and see where I’ll be living after my Nats contract expires and the Yankees sign me as a free agent.” Pick: WAS

MIN@DET: To counteract criticism that he has left the Minnesota Twins minor league system bare, the Twins GM has optioned former AL MVP Justin Morneau and current AL MVP Joe Mauer to AAA St. Paul. Pick: Min

BOS@TOR: Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Brett Cecil has an almost 3:1 strikeout to walk ratio. But MML sees him and his wrap around glasses and have to give our own instant scouting report. Our guess; he's wild. Pick: BOS

CLE@TB Tampa Bay became the first baseball team ever to be no-hit 3 times in 12 months after being no-hit by Edwin Jackson following perfect games previously by Mark Buerle and Dallas Braden. When asked for comment Rays 3B, Evan Longoria, told MML, "I wouldn't say Dallas Braden threw a perfect game, 30 of those 107 pitches were balls; you call that perfect?" Pick: TB

STL@HOU: The Houston Astro’s season has gotten so bad that manager Brad Mills has coughed up $139.00 and ordered 'Baseball Mechanics' from back to back to back AAU National Championship coach Tom Emanski. Pick: STL

"Hello, I'm major league superstar Fred McGriff. I wholeheartedly endorse this product and/or service."

SD@COL MML is starting to question Colorado starting pitcher Jorge De La Rosa’s committment to the team. When asked by MML about the injury to his left finger that has him on the DL he said; “My finger on my pitching arm is in bad shape, but I’m too competitive to let it get me down. I will just have to learn how to play my Guitar Hero right handed.” Pick: COL

FLA@ARZ: Former Yankees and Phillies backup infielder Phil Linz once said, “Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living.” As mentioned, Phil Linz was not a member of the Diamondbacks. Pick FLA

BAL@TEX: Brady Anderson; former Orioles centerfielder who is left-handed, popular with the ladies, and whose name ends in ‘–rady’ is denying internet rumors that he retired after the 2002 season, took HGH for a year, and returned to the league in 2004 as Grady Sizemore; a left-handed, popular with the ladies centerfielder, whose name ends in ‘-rady’. When pressed by MML, Brady did admit to recalling a Zima-fueled romantic night he spent behind Boog’s BBQ with a spunky Dundalk native named Molly Sizemore. Pick: BAL

CHC@LAD: Chicago Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster lost his 7th decision of the year last week. The official scorer later admitted he had actually made a mistake, and the decisions were later officially re-entered into the box score as “foregone conclusions.” Pick: LAD

KC@CWS: Reggie Bush married a Kardashian and the Saints won the SuperBowl. Lamar Odom married a Kardashian and the Lakers won the NBA Finals. In a last ditch effort to make a run at the World Series the Kansas City Royals are drawing straws to see who has to seduce and marry the leftover Kardashian that already has a kid. Pick: CWS

LAA@OAK: MML suspects the Athletics have given up on this season. The Oakland Plain Dealer is reporting that due to the deaths of great uncles for all 25 players, the Oakland Athletic's will be forfeiting the final game before the All Star Break since the entire team is on bereavement leave. Pick: LAA

NYY@SEA: The Seattle Police Department have put out a city-wide public safety warning now that Milton Bradley has released his inner demons. Pick: NYY

MIL@PIT: The Pirates? I wouldn't rate this as one of the more difficult decisions in my life. Pick: MIL

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