Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Monday Money Lines - Results Show

by: the Admiral

It was a good week for those of you DBSF fans with the foresight to trust Monday Money Lines' advice this week. MML gave you 8 money-line winners earning +676 units along with 4 money-line losers at a cost of -400 units.

This Week's Total: 8-4, +276 units
Season Total: 8-4, +276 units

Let’s take a look at the Items of the Week. The Items of the Week are actually 2 items. The first item is what a douchebag could own right now if he had the foresight and courage to gamble using MMLs picks and the second item is an alternative that MML feels he should have purchased instead.

Douchebag Item of the Week

D&G Jumper - $275.00 – A trendy touch to your casual outfit. V-neck pull, cashmere and silk, jersey stitch, three coloured stripes on dark blood red.

MML would like to thank D&G for bringing us this week’s Douchebag Item of the Week. Dolce & Gabanna, because nothing says, “I’m a douchebag,” like spending $300 on a low cut, tight, striped sweater with above-the-wrist sleeves**.

**Important Note**: MML has confirmed with DBSF personally and can now categorically deny the validity of earlier reports asserting that the gentleman modeling this item is none other than DBSF himself.

Douchebag Alternative of the Week

10 Tapout T-Shirts in various designs/colors – 10 @ $26.99 ea - $269.90 – “An Expression of Combat”

The official TapouT ad boasts that these Tshirts are “An Expression of Combat.” As a professional prognosticator, MML looks at these shirts and sees what he always sees…..value. Why blow $275 on a D&G sweater so that you can look like a douchebag once, when MML's alternate recommendation will allow you to be a douchebag every day for the week, plus 3 more shirts to spare for a long holiday weekend at Watkins Glen Speedway. Or even better, share these shirts with 9 of your best bros, pound some warm shots of Jagermeister, spend an hour ensuring the 10 of you execute all 45* potential unique-partner chest bumps, and then hit the town together as a gaggle of douchebags**.

**Important note**: MML checked with Miss Manners to get an answer to one of our frequently asked questions, and the answer is YES; if you have a mullet, the TapouT shirt is considered business casual.

*Mathematical proof of 45 unique-partner chest bumps* Bro 1 chest bumps Bros 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Bro 2 chest bumps Bros 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10................................................until Bro 9 chest bumps Bro 10, everyone puts on Axe Body Spray, and they head out the door.

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