Friday, May 14, 2010

Let the LeBron Courtship Begin

As much as DBSF would love to see LeBron in that ugly blue and gold Wizards' uniform next season, he recognizes that King James might look to other more high profile cities and organizations. Eventhough Cartier Martin exhibited his basketball aptitude in beating DBSF 11-6 in a one-on-one game at Turkey Thicket Community Center last month, DBSF accepts LeBron would like more polished (note: "polished" here is a euphemism for more skilled, athletic, and all around better at basketball) teammates.

There are four teams rumored to lead the LeBron sweepstakes. Always one to fan a rumor wildfire, DBSF will add his lit cigarette and kerosene to the flame.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers--DBSF believes this is the best fit for LeBron. Although Cleveland is a marginal city, when compared to metropolitan behemoths, like New York, Chicago, and LA**, it has great history and not only would James staying in Cleveland establish him as eponymous with Cleveland but, also, with Ohio. He's from there, and he's always played basketball there so it's almost natural. Not to mention, if he wins a championship in Cleveland (which DBSF predicts he will win multiple of) it will be HIS championship, not LeBron and Bosh's, or LeBron and Dwade's.

2. Miami Heat--Should LeBron go to the Heat with DWade and try to tag team the NBA? Assuming Beasley continues to develop this could look promising. But, DBSF believes the rest of the Heat's roster is pretty weak. And, considering Wade's injury record LeBron could easily find himself in a worse scenario than had he stayed in Cleveland.

3. New York Knicks--If Nike, David Stern, and Capitalism in general had a vote this is where LeBron would go. Big market plus big star equals success, right? Uhhhh . . . DBSF has four words for you--Chris Duhon, Dino Gallinari. If you know who they are its either because you went to Duke or you lived in Italy in the last 5 years and followed Italian basketball closely. With the exception of David Lee, the Knicks roster reeks of D-Leaguedom.

The Knicks could bring in Chris Bosh for LeBron and they'll still be a ways away from competing. Unless LeBron thinks that he can do it all by himself, DBSF believes this is a risky move. And, as the series to the Celtics showed, teams with great helpside defense neutralize LeBron's greatest weapon--his drive and athleticism--which leaves him to pulling up for long jumpers. Guess who else likes to settle for long jumpers on the Knicks? The entire roster.

4.Los Angeles Clippers--Are you joking DBSF? Their one selling point is that they have cap room. If LeBron goes to the Clippers he'll pitching adds for Starbury shoes in three years. If DBSF was one of LeBron's inner-ear whisperers, whom profit from his talent with no discernable form of reciprocation, DBSF would suggest LeBron try to play tight end in the NFL before he goes to the Clippers.

So, you have it. Cleveland or bust. (That being said DBSF has already pre-ordered the LeBron Knick's jersey in Men's small.)

** LA is not actually a city (it has relatively low density of population, no public transportation, etc) but the worst case of suburban sprawl with major sports teams. For Washingtonians unfamiliar with Los Angeles, it would be like giving the Dulles Corridor a minor league team. Take away the Sun, and Spencer Pratt that "city" is no different than Ellicot City with hills.

1 comment:

  1. stay in cleveland. win two rings. go make movies. and be the biggest superstar that ever lived to come out of the closet. everyone wins.