With the third installment of the Twilight teenage-played-by-many-non-teenage vampire* series coming to theatres this week, DBSF thought it appropriate to pay homage to its star, Robert Pattinson, and other hirsutely inclined celebrities with a tribute to the top three celebrity neck-beards**.
First off, we have RoPat. He only gets a 5 (out of 10) because there is no beard-chest hair connection. John Stamos make RoPat look like an infant.
At number two, Justin Timberlake. The former Model Behavior star, who also appeared in an episode of DBSF-favorite Touched by an Angel, gets a 7. Although like RoPat there is no neck to chest hair connection, Timberlake's neck-beard is so voluminous (would that be vertically or horizontally inclined?) that it looks like he has a cocker-spaniel's leg wrapped around his neck.
Finally, the alpha and the omega of celebrity neck beards--Mr. John Stamos. Stamos seems conscious of his neck undergrowth, and as such seeks to limit its expansion. But, one can imagine that minus a 7am Nair session followed up by careful Maybelline foundationing, the tentacles of Stamos's neck-beard could have collarbone potential.
* An interesting fact about teenage vampires as opposed to the non-teenaged variety, at least according to the Twilight series, is that the teenage kind seem to function best sans-shirt. On the other hand, your conventional^ tall, dark Eastern European vampire of Castlevania-lore always dressed in what looked like thick, dark wool suits while bearing his long cape. Pretty much the antithesis to abs and not-quite-hipster-tight jeans.
^Footnote w/ in a footnote: "Conventional" is of course in reference to those interpreting vampires born before Michael Jordan won an NBA championship. Those born after "His Airness" took his thrown assume vampires have an Abercrombie & Fitch meets Scandanavia or some other low-sun region quality to them.
** DBSF recognizes that his inability to formulate hairs from the follicles of his facial region make this post appear less ironic and biting, and more spiteful.