Tuesday, June 8, 2010

And with the First Overall Pick in the 2010 MLB Draft, the Washington Nationals Select . . . the Ultimate Bro

With last night's Bryce Harper selection, the Washington Nationals not only get a 17 year old catcher with supposedly extraordinary offensive potential and some one to catch Stephen Strasburg's god-like fastballs but, they also got . . . the ultimate bro.

(Note: DBSF uses "god-like" in jest in reaction to the irrational exuberance over a 21 year old from Southern California K'ing a bunch of double-Aer's over the last couple months. The hype has gotten so out of hand that a town in Virginia that shares the pitcher's surname is going to rename itself in honor of Washington's most recently unproven superstar. That's lame even by Virginia's standards.)

The above picture of Harper says it all--black button-down, spiked up dirty-blond hair. This kid definitely uses Axe Body Spray, reads Maxim magazine quasi-religiously, and relies on "awesome" as an affirmative in place of "yes". On the DBSF bro-scale, Bryce Harper is a 8 with a long-term potential for a 9.2 (so slightly above Dane Cook, but still below Peyton Manning).


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  2. I think it should be DBSF's goal to Bro Ice this dude before he hit's in 2013. We can do this people!

  3. It's settled. DBSF will make it a priority to "Ice" Bryce Harper. (Note: a non-alcoholic replacement will have to be used as Harper was born probably after Jordan had already won 3 championships.)