Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Second Coming of Ryan Leaf . . . Inevitably in a Browns Uniform

In a twist of fate exemplifying the apogee of football-fan misanthropy, the Cleveland Browns are rumored to be starting rookie QB Colt McCoy this week against the Steelers.

As if McCoy's pre-season QB Rating of 65 wasn't grounds for permanent clipboard holder--who whenever called on to take snaps to warm-up a back-up center inevitably cannot find his helmet and, thus, is seen on camera scrounging beneath bleachers and around giant cooling fans while some kicker with one leg the size of an anaconda swallowing a villager and the other leg commensurate in size to that of a skinny-jeaned Williamsburg math rocker is bending--single face bar and all--behind the center wondering how this encapsulates "other duties as assigned"--McCoy is going up against the NFL's fourth ranked defense.

DBSF is no odds maker, but if McCoy makes it 60 minutes unconcussed, and Browns' head coach Eric Mangini decides against his best interest of punting on first down then DBSF predicts a Leafian performance circa 1998 (vs KC Chiefs) consisting of 1-15, 4 yards, 0 TDs, and 2 pics. 0.0 QB Rating.


  1. the second sentence was tough but i got through it.

  2. David Garrard's wife: Future Jaguars assistant coach?

    it's so easy to hate david garrard

  3. 23-33, 281, 1 touch 2 picks, 80.5 rtg against the curtain? Not a bad debut. This guy has trent dilfer and brad johnson written all over him. Not exactly greatness, but should silence the naysayers...