Beavers Scouting Report – Containing the Teen Wolf

by: the Admiral

Since the emergence of the Teen Wolf teams have been overwhelmed when facing the Beavers. The Teen Wolf is without a doubt a real talent in the midst of a breakout season, but unless he signs a free agent contract with the Miami Heat I don’t see him winning any championships. Let’s take a look at the scouting report and game plan.

Strengths –

1) Teen Wolf’s vertical leaping ability (Can dunk from a standstill pretty much anywhere inside the 3 point line)

2) Teen Wolf’s perimeter shooting

• Can hit jumpers all day when left open

3) Balance and general athleticism

Weaknesses -

1) Poor supporting cast

2) Selfish player (tends to not get the other Beavers involved in the flow of the game)

3) Has no left handed dribble to speak of

4) Regularly eschews his amazing vertical leap in favor of an easily blockable 2 handed underhand layup

3-Point Defensive Game plan

1) Ignore Chubby, his love of doughnuts precludes him from making it up the court to be involved in the Beavers’ offense

2) Even though he can be prolific passer, once the Teen Wolf has 10 assists to ensure his quadruple double he does not pass to anyone. Therefore it’s prudent to triple team the wolf.

3) After reviewing hours of tape its painfully obvious that the Teen Wolf is no threat with his left hand. Therefore the triple-team will all focus on his right side either frustrating the Wolf or forcing him to include his inferior supporting cast.

So, just resign yourself to the fact that the Teen Wolf is a freak and will get his; probably 50 points, 10 steals, 10 blocks, and 10 assists to keep his quadruple double streak alive, but if you can limit him to 50 and shut down the rest of the team you have a better than even chance to come out of there with a win.

Discipline and defensive fundamentals are a must; keep your feet moving, keep him in front of you, channel him into traps. While normally very selfish at times the Teen Wolf can be a great heads-up player with good court vision and has the ability to find the open man. If you bring a trapping zone and he is passing, be sure you have solid weak side rotation and your defenders are communicating.

Do keep a hand in his face and respect his quickness (to his right at least). If you play back and give him a step he will usually hit the open jumper, or dunk from a standstill position anywhere inside the 3 point line, often flying over defenders heads, and ending up sitting on top of the backboard with his feet dangling down through the hoop.

Finally, Coach Finstock hates sitting Teen Wolf, but if his star picks up three fouls early, there won't be any other option. So go after him. Follow all of this advice and you’ll see the Beaver Bandwagon is a lot of hype. Follow Coach Finstock’s advice (below) and you’ll see everything else is cream cheese.

“There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. “