Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Allen Iverson Possibly to Play in Turkey, a Country Close to the U.S.

Yahoo! Sports is reporting that Allen Iverson might sign a $2M one-year deal to party in Istanbul for 6 months, to not train for a team that is being sued by the likes of Lonnie "I will interpret laws on firing automatic weapons around the White House however I like" Baxter, and to inevitably get seriously winded after 2.5 trips up and down the court.

But, Iverson, who is now frighteningly close to teetering into the psychic abyss of Stephon Marbury, playing abroad isn't what interests DBSF. Rather, it was the comments of Iverson's business manager that made the story news worthy.

Iverson's business manager, Gary Moore, stated that "We are in very serious negotiations with [Besiktas, the Turkish team]. Istanbul is beautiful from everything we’ve learned. It’s not that far from the U.S., and the competition is good which makes it all attractive." Gary's first three statements in this brief excerpt merit closer attention.

Statement #1: "We are in serious negotiations." Why not? As Lonnie learned, signing a contract to play in Europe isn't the same as getting paid to play in Europe. This ain't the NBA. If Allen ends up with a diesel Peugot with 259K kilometers on it, and a suitcase of Marlboro Reds in place of $700K Euros, he can't say DBSF didn't warn him.

Statement #2: "Istanbul is beautiful from everything we've learned of it." Istanbul is a UNESCO World Heritage site. In principle, Gary is categorically right. But, Gary's use of the verb "learn" suggests uncertainty. It's like he's a NASA scientist describing a suitable amount of carbon on pluto to support the existence of dust.

Statement #3: "It’s not that far from the U.S." Intergalactically speaking, Gary is dead on. But, most globes will show you that Istanbul pretty much sits on the direct opposite side of the world from America. Again, in proximity to Ursa Minor, he is absolutely right. But, if Allen is under the impression that the flight to Istanbul is like the flight from Philadelphia to Memphis he might want to bring one or two more DVDs on the plane.

Fortunately for Iverson if the NBA's two most famous Turkish exports, Hedo Turkoglu and Mehmet Okur, are indicative of the style of play in Turkey then Iverson is in great shape for 3-point-line to 3-point-line shoot first, play defense last basketball.


  1. I rented a diesel Peugot Renault 5008 on my recent trip overseas, and based on Iverson's current skills he would be lucky to land a Peugot 5K8.