Physical Activities Albert Haynesworth Can Complete

The AP reported today that Albert Haynesworth, the Washington Redskins' expensive and perennially truant Defensive Tackle, failed his second day of conditioning drills. Apparently, Haynesworth failed to run back and forth in three 50 yard increments. Considering that most bipeds with the slightest sign of neurological function can complete this mundane task DBSF decided to guess at what physical activities Haynesworth actually can complete.

Apparently Albert made it about 120 yards running forwards and back. This means he could 1) mow the grass of much of a side-yard strip of a smaller townhouse (less than 1/10 acre of property, which Haynesworth's nine-figure deal likely precludes him from owning), 2) get up from his couch to turn down the TV's volume for Rainbow 6: Vegas 2 to see if the pizza delivery guy is knocking at the door, and 3) to run around his house for half an hour when his dog stole his second XBox controller and in the process kept pausing and unpausing the game.

If Mike Shanahan really wants to see Hayneswroth improve, DBSF recommends that the coach drive to Haynesworth's house and let Haynesworth "test the knee" in his own back yard, thus saving the DT the walk to and from his car. That's gotta be good for 140 yards, and then a shower. (Not to mention, it would benefit Albert because he wouldn't even have to turn off his XBox.)