Arrivederci Scoombatzos, (Catch ya’ later, dirtbags)

by: the Admiral

This will probably be my last blogpost before packing my bags and heading to the motherland. In my youth I was reasonably fluent in Italian, but now it’s fairly difficult for me to understand Italian and even harder to speak.

I considered taking a refresher course at the Learning Annex or using Rosetta Stone to bone up on my Italian skills before shipping off to the old country. In the end, I decided that a phrase book and a moustache were all that I would need. What does a moustache have to do with it? Just watch.

I will miss you all during my absence. You may even see a post during my trip. I would have to procure a donkey from Don Giuseppe, who basically runs the mountaintop town where I am staying. It’s a town with a population of 28 where my mom was born and the only passage to the internet café 6 valleys away is via donkey.

It’s a hard trip, but I will take inspiration from the fact many winters ago my mother packed many jars of marinara sauce and the recipe for green lasagna onto a similar donkey and battled blizzards and bocce ball throwing bandits to make her way down that mountain, across the Alps, and across the ocean until that brave donkey eventually died just as it galloped onto Ellis Island.

Also, DBSF should be back from the Straight Frying Middle East Promotional Tour any day now. He promised some fresh material from his voyage. The first new jokes he tried out on me weren’t that great (example – “That’s a bunch of Istan bull, turkey!”), but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

So, until we meet again, I just want to say babbity boopy, beepity boopity babba de ba, bappity boopa! DISGRACIA!