Wednesday, August 4, 2010

MML Results - Items of the Week - Week 5

by: the Admiral

This Week’s Results: 5-5, +74 units
Season Total: 38-22, +1208 units

Monday Money Lines gave you 5 money line winners earning +574 units and 5 money line losers at a cost of -500 units. FIVE STRAIGHT weeks of profits!! Now on to the Items of the Week. As always, this is 1 item that could be yours if you had the forethought, prudence, insight, prescience, & good sense to allow MML to be your consigliere this week plus one alternate recommendation.

Item of the Week – $74 – A Donation to the Admiral Post-Vegas Fund

You’ve been able to choose between 2 equally wonderful weekly items for the last month because of my “free” picks. Now it’s time to pay the Piper. I estimate that MML has between 2 and 3500 readers. For the sake of optimism let’s assume it’s 3500. If you take those 3500 readers and multiply it by their +74 units this week, that’s $259,000* (*if the readership is closer to 2 than to 3500 then recalculations will need to be made).

I don’t want to be undignified or inappropriate, but I think it’s only fair to recompense me for all my hard work in my time of need. If half of you estimated 3500 readers donate me half of your week’s profits then that $64,750 should be just enough to pay off my Vegas marker, settle the invoice for room damages, and still leave plenty for a down payment on a Subway $5 footlong.

Send your donations to:

The Admiral
c/o DBSF blog
Adelphi, MD 20783

Alternate Item of the Week – $74 Loan to the Admiral Post-Vegas Fund

While making a donation to this worthy cause will be great for you come tax time, it is not your only option. You could also loan me your $74 in profits this week. I will even take $65 if my Cash for Gold submission works out as favorably as I’m hoping. My best and final offer is that you can loan me $55, but that is also dependent on what 888-EZBUX has to say about my free and clear car title.

*Special Thanks to MC Hammer for his support of the Admiral Post-Vegas Fund

The bottom line is that I must and will get my hands on that money. If you do choose the loan route it will be an interest-free loan with interest only payments, along with 1 balloon payment in 2065. Those of you unwilling or unable to bail me out this week, I strongly recommend you upgrade to the latest Norton Antivirus software. I don’t know the technical details, but in a stroke of genius the DBSF IT staff is uploading a virus to your computer as you read this page that will make your computer inoperable at a date of my choosing.

When the Paypal confirmation emails arrive and/or my mailman Stan starts rolling up with the cashiers’ checks I will start disseminating the password to disable the virus. I can’t promise that Norton will stop the virus, but I guarantee the password will. I feel slightly guilty about the strong-arm tactics I’m employing this week, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Despite my behavior don't worry because my hatred of humanity will subside along with my Vegas hangover (88 hours to go).
Donation. Loan. Tomato. Tomahto. Regardless of how we handle this awkward situation this week, I really appreciate you rallying around me in my time of need. Was the virus a bit much? Maybe, but I’m hoping that one day we can laugh about it; I know I will.

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