Monday, December 20, 2010

The less than Photogenic NBA Class of 2010

The 2010 NBA draft had a bit of everything: approximately 8 players in the first round from John Calipari's semi-pro Wildcat's team (supposedly they're associated with the University of Kentucky--the bastion of American thought); a Venezualan, a Canadian, a Brit; the gratuitous over-hyped, exceptionally athletic UNC power forward that possesses minimal basketball skills and an Indian Jones in the snake pit fear of the paint; and Luke Harangody.

But, in his monthly analysis to see how the rookie class is performing, DBSF noticed something. This class takes perhaps the worst pictures of any group of 60 marginally functioning adult men. It's not that any of these men--save Harangody--are particularly unattractive; rather they seem to have no understanding of how to form their face in front of a camera. (Either smile or look straight ahead, boys.)

It's like they're six years old and the concept of smiling is too abstract so they simply open their eyes extra wide and spread their lips and show their teeth. (Or, because they're 19 and laboriously cool they squint and open a fraction of their mouth.)

Below are some of the more impressive head shots from Yahoo! Sports.

#1 overall pic John Wall--John do what you're doing with the left side of your mouth on the right side too. The mustache just makes it weirder.

#5 pic DeMarcus Cousins--A) you wore a headband to the photo shoot and you definitely did not see any other teammates with one, and B) you're looking like you're trying to carry the photographer (she gets paid $150 for the session by the NBA and that doesn't include gas or lunch--let's make this as easy as possible for her).

#8 pic Al-Farouq Aminu--Innocent mistake; case of six-year oldism. No idea how to shape his mouth into a smile. DBSF is proud of him that he tried.

#16 pic Luke Babbitt--Surely you mean well, Luke. See: John Wall advice.

#18 pic Eric Bledsoe--Eric Bledsoe + Luke Babbit = perfect smile. Independent they're merely exemplars for DeMarcus Cousins.

#52 pic Luke Harangody--Luke this isn't your head shot for the Navy Seals. Relax, have some fun. Alright, fine. Have it your way. Stare at the photographer like you want to fight her.

1 comment:

  1. Harangody missed photo day so they used his pic from the sex offender registry.