Yahoo!/ the National Enquire are reporting that Elin Nordegren is moving on from Tiger Woods with a "35 year old South African" she met while studying for her psychology degree in Florida. Now, let DBSF get this right.
To get that Swedish super-human, her $100 million-plus dowry, and the opportunity for a lifetime of awkward "hey I'm banging your ex-wife, and yeah, your kids like me more because I'm basically the cool uncle who lets them do whatever they want and play XBox like 24/7 because well, heck, they're not my kids, I mean I'm in this for the blonde and the Scrooge McDuck money vault you left her" greetings with the world's greatest golfer, all you had to do was sign up for PSCY 126: Psychology of Gender at Florida Atlantic, sit next to the one person who wasn't festooned in hemp accessories and Billabong attire and let her carp about ol' Tiger?
For American males this should qualify as one of the greatest missed opportunities of the last fifty years--up there with letting Tom Brady fall to the second day of the draft and not shorting Bear Sterns in February 2008. In return for our collective ignorance and lassitude, some South African, who uses words like "bloke" and "car park" and gets philosophical on things like rain hitting sand and Seagulls crackling at each other, hoodwinks us and takes our most eligible bachelorette. And, to think DBSF cheered for South Africa in the World Cup.