Thursday, November 17, 2011

More Bad News for the Kansas City Chiefs

After back-to-back losses in which they lost by 28 points to the at the time winless Miami Dolphins--who also allegedly had a quarterback but Matt Moore's existence and participation is so ethereal that his 'play' at times borders on paranormal/ purgatoryish--and lost to the Denver Broncos' two completion aerial assault one would assume things couldn't get worse for the Kansas City Chiefs.

(DBSF Aside: Denver's what-appears-at-face-value 'limited' passing game, led by Tim Tebow, the apotheosis of non-secular quarterbacking, deserves greater attention. Many people assume that 1 Timothy's eight attempt, two completion for 56 yards represented the nadir in modern day passing football. But, 1 Timothy, the flagrant non-secularist that he is, might have actually been delivering a subtle message to the masses [note: 'masses' is 1 Timothy's designation for people/ fans/ humanity, not DBSF's]. Since much has been made of 1 Timothy's religiousity and "Tebow'ing" maybe this is his attempt as a deity--some might even see it as some bizarre deus ex machina--that 1 Timothy is one of us, aka the masses, so as to regain his flock that he lost after the sports media collectively questioned his quarterbackability in reaction to his prior performances. By keeping the ball as close to the ground via running/ not throwing 1 Timothy is illustrating some football allegory to us--again, the masses--that he is like us grounded by our simple humanness/ original sin/ gravity and not the beatific being 1 Timothy really is. That's the explanation or serious amounts of lysergic acid diethylamide seeped into the Broncos' facility's water treatment system, thus leading the coaching staff, psychodelicly, to believe that they and the football are one and as one contain a most debilitating form of Vertigo than can only be alleviated through constant football-to-ground contact.)

But, the Chiefs received more bad news when they found out today that starting QB Matt Cassel might actually return this season after under-going surgery for a hand-injury he suffered against the Broncos. While the return of an injured starting QB would be highly anticipated--if not at the least preferred--in most cases, Matt Cassell suffers from 'Luke McCown syndrome', which prohibits one from discerning his team from the opponent and from completing a greater percentage of passes than that which would be completed if one were to arbitrarily throw a ball up in the air ten yards beyond the line of scrimmage on passing possessions. Of course, if Cassell can't return that means Chief fans can look forward to a season of Tyler Palko, which is like agnosticism's version of Tim Tebow.

No comments:

Post a Comment