Monday, August 1, 2011

Samaki Walker, Handling the Situation

Al-Jalaa Aleppo power forward Samaki Walker (formerly of Dallas Maverick's lottery pick fame, and later Spurs, Lakers, Heat, Wizards and Pacers anonymity) recently found himself in a tight spot when he was pulled over with a baker's dozen grams of pot, pills and liquid steroids.

Contrary to what his late career Player Efficiency Rating (PER) suggests, Samaki became a man of action once he saw the sirens. (Note: that -6.2 PER his final season with the Pacers indicates more harm than good--like having Shawn Bradley's perimeter offense combined with Seth Curry's low-post defense in one inefficacious life form.)

Move one. A la a the opening scene of Super Troopers, Samaki attempts to eat the pot. Presumably downing any dried out plant-good of modest amount with an enabler, like milk or gatorade, is feasible. Absent such liquids and under the duress of police summons, makes what amounts to approximately two hand-fulls of dried goods a challenge, to say the least.

Upon accepting his inability to consume copious amounts of pot, and with other illicit substances on board, Walker's move two was wisely defense--legal defense. Did, he inquired, the arresting officer understand that steroids were legal in Syria where he, Walker, played pro ball?

Unfortunately, Samaki disregarded some essential tenants of sovereignty, the primary one being that a country's laws apply only as long as you are in fact in that country. Regardless, Samaki deserves approbation for his pot-eating efforts and trying to make lemonade out of lemons.

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