Thursday, August 25, 2011

DBSF Week in Review (Late August Edition)

After late summer holidaying on only the finest of Northern Ohio's post-industrial village-cum-run-offs, DBSF has returned to recap the last week.

In baseball, Yahoo! is reporting that an A-10 socceresque 347 fans showed up for this week's Marlin's-Red's game. The Yahoo! blog post explains that the poor attendance reflects concerns related to the impending Hurricane Irene. DBSF wishes to point out that while Irene might have dissuaded the casual baseball fan, it was more likely the case that the abounding futility of the Marlin's and the Red's inclined fans to forgo a night at the ball park for one to one-point-five hours of cable network syndicated COPS reruns.

In response to this week's earthquake that affected parts of the mid-Atlantic, Baltimore Raven's WR Torrey Smith decided that a buildingless, soft-turfed football field represented a less than ideal place to experience a quake. It should be noted that DBSF gives Torrey extra points for the theatrical--not Broadway, more community--way he tosses his head back just before he sprints so as to exaggerate his exigence.

Finally, and staying with the Terps (or potential Terps, DBSF should say) it was announced that the University of Maryland received an oral commitment from 2012 high profile recruit, Shaquille Clear. An avid Terps' fan, DBSF thought it appropriate to conduct some online video research of the 6'9" 285 lbs center during a recent lunch break.

And, what did DBSF conclude on young Shaquille? Well, that whenever opposing 6'2" centers make no effort to box out--much less contest--Shaquille, he will in fact grab the rebound and make the outlet pass. After about a minute of one-man defensive rebounding drills, the videographer transitions to segments illustrating Shaquille's offensive merits. Or, further evidence exhibiting that as long as he possesses a 6 inch and 60 lbs height/ weight advantage the young man is unstoppable. And, in the final scene we learn thhhaaaatttttt . . . he's a a cherry picker. A 6'9" sure to be 300 lbs cherry picker.


  1. Shaq Cleare is Class of 2012, hey at least he can come down with the rebound and not fumble it out of bounds (see Bombalay Osby from 2006-2008)

  2. If that is the best 2 minutes they can come up with I'm not sure if this is a Shaqille highlight reel or a highlight reel for the band's drum section.