Thursday, June 2, 2011

Other Things Ohio State should Blame Terrelle Pryor for

After a decade plus of Jim Tressel's cheating, THE Ohio State University--an athletic institution that also offers courses to 50,000+ young adults--thought the appropriate course of action was to blame one 21 year old for ol' coach's misdeeds. DBSF was all "what the heck?" why not blame Pryor for other offenses/ events/ less conspicuous STDs. Below are some examples from a list that DBSF faxed to THE Ohio State U's President and Board of Trustees.

-SARS--Like totally a big issue, and then nothing. Let's give that disease or virus of whatever it was one last burst of publicity.

-The decision to draft Joey Harrington.

-The person who prevented Kimmy Gibbler's stylist from Full House from receiving the lead designer position at the House of Dior.

-Why the Y2K bug wasn't that big of a deal. DBSF spent all that time worrying that he would lose access to the $67.04 in his checking account on January 1, 2000 and what? Surely, a 10 year old Terrelle Pryor started the hysteria.

-Saved by the Bell: The New Class.

-People who fart on elevators and don't take responsibility or fart and get off the floor before you get on so you walk right into the fart and when the next person gets on they assume you were the farter and like mentally tell him/ herself 'what kind of person is so inconsiderate to fart in such close quarters of strangers?'.

-Keith Van Horn.

-People who put lift-kits on Suzuki Samurai's.

-The decision not to bail out Bear Sterns and Lehman Brothers.

-Chlamydia or Gonorrhea. Basically, whichever one is cured with over the counter antibiotics and causes only minor itching and slight discomfort during urination. If they're both of the JV STD variety then whichever one comes first alphabetically.

-The reason Tori Spelling didn't get Helen Mirren's role in "The Queen".

-LeBron James' "decision" this last off-season not to go to the Minnesota Timberwolves.


  1. broke ass gibler. looking like a 34 year old denny's waitress at 12

  2. Hang on, you're saying this wasn't an isolated incident.

  3. Lebron and Luke Ridnour in the same backcourt, championship!