Monday, June 13, 2011

The Summer of DBSF's Discontent

The real tragedy of Miami losing Game 6 of the NBA Finals last night isn't that Bron Bron & Bosh didn't score any jewelry, rather its that non-MLB loving sports' fans (e.g., sports fans) have one less event to hold them over until football starts in late August. As a DBSF colleague of counter-counter-intelligence (so regular, run of the mill intelligence) pointed out after the NBA draft, we have baseball (or, as DBSF likes to pronounce it "bess-ball"), WNBA, and soccer.

As if there need be greater irony in DBSF's summer of discontent the soccer isn't even not the real kind that's played every four years but isn't the Olympics but kind of is the Olympics because who really gives a fart about the triple jump, save triple jumpers and immediate family members of triple jumpers? Rather, it's kind of like watching DIII basketball--undeniable quality effort, but deep down you feel that 2 weeks sans smoking (or, at least switching off menthols) and reducing beer consumption to a manageable 3 or fewer per night you personally would end the season in that league with some sort of plaque honoring you for individual achievement.

The irony in this already deeply ironic moment of personal DBSF introspection--and by irony DBSF doesn't mean funny, he means like the literal junior year of high school English definition of like the opposite happening of what was intended--is that the NFL doesn't even rub DBSF's marbles the right way anymore. Thanks to an epidemy of American malaise combined with juggernaut-marketing schemes run by big beer, big insurance, big private investment firms, and big mid-sized truck manufacturers the NFL has become overwhelmed by the idea of the NFL.

In other words, the NFL is becoming like a bizarre most photographed barn in america where it's popularity and appreciation is predicated not on the event but on the anticipation and obsession with what people think the event could be. In fact, DBSF believes that the Superbowl has only been played two out of the last six years. Those other four years were simply an amalgamation of Paul McCartney/ Black Eyed Peas soundbites, Tostitos ads, and pre-game commentary on what each defense or offense should do in the event the game were ever played.

In the end, this only possesses deep significance for DBSF and inner-DBSF (DBSF now counts his own personal self as 2 people starting in the 2010 decennial Census). So, until next fall DBSF will resort to regularly monitoring Twitter feeds from the likes of Brian Cardinal and Zaza Pachulia. Basketball's over; the Summer into early-Fall doldrums may commence.


  1. Does your new "edgy/brooding" dbsf blog style come with a receding hairline ponytail and black turtleneck?

  2. Naturally proactive, DBSF began ingesting Propecia daily in the eight grade. But, all the rest is accurate.

  3. don't think i'd watch soccer if my child's life depended on it. just not worth it

  4. Besbol = NBA * 11,000. Fact.