Thursday, June 9, 2011

Basketball is a Game of Runs/ High Drama in Game 6

Time for LeBron to show that he's not Jim Kelly or Scottie Pippen--both of whom in like the grand scheme of things are up there w/r/t best-case scenario in terms of life outcomes--or something. DBSF predicted a 24-8-9 (pts-assists-rbs) explosion for Bron Bron. Here we go.

--Mike Bibby doesn't add basketball value to the Heat. He doesn't add aesthetic value. Four-on-five can't be that much worse.

--Based on the promos for ABC's Fall line-up the network looks like it expects Google and/ or Netflix to conquer television sometime in August.

--Shawn Marion's goatee--uninspired.

--Tyson Chandler's flaming basketball tattoo on his left bicep was an epic decision in 1999. Well, kind of epic.

--Joel Anthony works harder on single possessions than the entire Washington Wizards' starting five does on entire West Coast road trips.

--Nowitzki totally gets the geometry behind the circumference of a hoop increasing with a greater arc. Doubt he ever needed to use the cosine or tangent function on his TI-81.

--Brendan Haywood is inactive for tonight's game. He was inactive for game 4 but still managed to plod around on the court for a couple minutes. Consummate Wizard.

--DBSF needs to double-check but he believes that Brian Cardinal playing in multiple games of a Final's series represents one of the 6 original signs of an impending apocalypse.

--The fact that 7'1" Tyson Chandler with those 4 foot arms can miss a lay-up is admirable. Admirable in the same way of people who beat drug charges because the cop showed up for court the wrong day.

--Somebody brought their three year old to sit court-side--great use of a $6,000 ticket.

--Brian Cardinal hit a three. A distant universe--definitely possessing complex lifeforms--instantaneously implodes.

--DWade goes down with a hip injury. Mike Miller TIME!!!

--JJ Barea will be an awesome fit with the Heat next season.

--Whoever designed the Maverick's mid-court mascot emblem has a long career ahead of him doing graphic design for the DLeague.

--Juwan Howard just made back-to-back baskets. DBSF is all of a sudden in the mood for some K-Ci & JoJo.

--Eddie House not hitting threes is a shorter, tanner Adam Morrison.

--Shawn Marion may have an ugly jump shot but its a beautiful upward chest pass.

--The three prerequisites of sitting court-side at an NBA Finals game: 1) don't watch the game, 2) text/ play Angry Birds the entire time, and 3) don't wear the complimentary t-shirt given to fans.

--Eddie House lecturing Mario Chalmers on how to guard JJ Barea is like Whitney Houston lecturing Marie Osmond on sobriety.


  1. I have two nba championships and a moustache. You are capable of neither. Good day.

  2. real talk dbsf--shawn marion is a bamma. for real? a feaux-hawk? child please. you're 37

  3. excellent point re: marion chest pass and dirk's aryan supremacy w/r/t/ understanding of shot arc / hoop circumference. feel you should also have mentioned that brian cardinal has the most appearance-appropriate nickname in the history of sport.

  4. DBSF is on volume 8 (p. 842) of his tome on Brian Cardinal's sobriquet "The Custodian".