Monday, September 19, 2011

Week 3 DBSF Betting Line

There's a reason this post represents DBSF's first betting line and why DBSF never bets on non-Project Runway and/ or non-Bad Girls Club-based events. (Season 6 DBSF played a $100 trifecta on 1) the under that three girls would leave the show, 2) that contrary to their seemingly amicable behavior in the ambulance Kori wouldn't accept Nikki's apology for "accidentally" cutting her [Kori], and 3)that Jade would involuntarily leave the show. Without ruining the plot for individuals who have BGC: Season 6 on their Netflix/ Quikster queue Jade's decision to leave the show at her own behest essentially cost DBSF a cool $220.) The reason this is DBSF's first betting line should become evident Monday, September 26, when those with an elementary familiarity with probability (i.e., heads/ tails = 50/50) will recognize that DBSF's predicted outcomes in comparison to the actual outcomes of the games capture the essence of the state of arbitrariness.

Kansas City at San Diego (-14.5)
San Diego should win this game by four TDs, but DBSF is suspicious that after their two previous drubbings and the loss of Jamaal Charles the Chiefs are going to have one of those integrity-check games and push the game into the fourth quarter. San Diego by 10.

New England (-8) at Buffalo
The Bills are 2-0 after a fourth quarter comeback win over the Raiders on Sunday. Week 1 the Bills blew-out the Chiefs by 34. However, week 2 the Lions blew-out the Chiefs by 45, which means in a truly cosmically-balanced universe both the Bills and the Chiefs lost their week one match-up by two or three TDs each. New England by at least 10 but probably 27.

Pittsburgh (-10.5) at Indianapolis
Through two games Colts' QB Kerry Collins has still yet to exhibit that he can appropriately discern between teammates and non-teammates. Colts head coach Jim Caldwell might want to focus on ensuring that Collins fully grasps some of the more mundane aspects of the team, like uniform colors. Assuming Roethlisberger is healthy it should be a 17 point win for the Steelers.

Miami Dolphins at Cleveland Browns (-2.5)
Warning: wager on this game at your own risk. Its going to be boring. Thirty points total might be scored. It will inevitably come down to a fourth quarter interception or fumble on the losing team's side of the field that sets-up a three-and-out followed by an anti-climactic 38 yard FG to win the game with 2:48 left. Browns win by 2.5. Seriously, don't bet this game. Not because you might lose money; rather the malaise and impending insouciance resulting from simply checking online--let along watching on TV, which deserves its own special 'partake at your own risk' warning--to see if the 10-6 score has changed will likely have profound adverse psychological effects on your most basic perceptions of broad never really consciously considered concepts, like : 1) progress, 2) hope, 3) accumulation, 4) temporal order, and 5) fecundity.

Arizona (-3) at Seattle
The Seahawks are coming off a 24-0 drubbing (exceptionally unnecssary football-bloggery-type word; is 24-0 ever a nail-biter?) against the Steelers, which followed up a 16 point loss to San Fransisco where some how the 49ers figured out how to score 33 points; and, all of the 33 in one game. DBSF likes Kevin Kolb in 'Zona and thinks Pete Carroll has a very et tu Brute? quality to his character (which, grant it, in New England makes for a darn good ball coach). Arizona by 11.

If history is any indicator of the future it is in your best financial interest to take a five game parlay and bet the exact opposite of the aforementioned picks.

1 comment:

  1. wouldn't trust pete carroll with a can of beans

    ReplyDelete