Monday, September 12, 2011

NFL Preseason Week 5: Denver Broncos v. Oakland Raiders

Getting the Monday night 10:15pm EST time slot is the NFL telling you that you're not a top priority. Starting Kyle Orton and Jason Campbell on Monday Night Football in response is you're way of saying that you agree. In most sports, like boxing, performing last suggests that you're the marquee event. DBSF thinks ESPN and the NFL used the same logic for tonight's Broncos and Raiders match-up that leads like Versus or the Outdoor Life Network to run the Compass Bowl on January 7 (Play two terrible teams late in the bowl schedule, rather than early, because later on when fans have fewer options Ball State-Nevada becomes surprisingly interesting.)

Basically, its the idea that you, the viewer, will be jonesing so bad for some football that you'll take inferior product. Just as when the authorities intercept a large supply of opiates and dealers, aka providers, must resort to push inferior, i.e., "cut", goods, which are still purchased because to someone seriously jonesing even 5% heroine/ 95% detergent is better than the old 0%/ 100% ratio, so too are NFL fans jonesing for more product after going on a Thursday to Sunday night NFL bender. Thus, the NFL needn't match up quality opponents, like the Saints or the Eagles late on Monday night. Rather they give fans deeply cut, Middle school pot-dealer quality product in the form of the Raiders vs. the Broncos.

Ironically (or, depressingly) DBSF is a life-long Broncos fan and, thus, not watching the game out of some NFL-opiate dependency but, rather because of sadomasochistic fandom (very modern day Lions/ Clippers/ minority-present Washington sports teams). A few reactions to the last game of week 1 NFL.v2011 . . .

--Denver is facing a 2nd and 23. That's a punting down if DBSF is making the call.

--There appears to be a penalty every 1.4 plays. In most cases that destroys the rhythm of the game. Oddly, it gives the Broncos-Raiders a nice cadence. That's probably the case because it distracts from or out-right eliminates the play of Bronco-Raider football.

--ESPN's football-based programming's (i.e., NCAA Goal Line, NFL Primetime, etc) graphic designs emphasize futuristic large-scale steal operations and some form of molten led or metal moving at an impressive--albeit, in opposition to some of the core tenants of gravity--rate. All in all its some very impressive no nonsense, ultra-masculinity; GWB meets Delta Force meets Camaro-inspired auto shows.

--The fact that Seastian Janikowski is still in the league after 11 or so years just goes to show you that the Polish will kick footballs to support drinking 7 days a week until you stop paying them .

--DBSF is highly suspicious of Raiders' fans who dress up in the Road Warrior gear with face paint and such. These aren't really football fans; its all more of a weekly Renaissance Fair for them.


  1. are you letting Smythe proofread your posts before submitting them?

  2. Where their allot of mispelings?