Wednesday, September 7, 2011

DBSF AFC East & West Predictions

AFC East
1. New England Patriots (11-5)
DBSF has a hankering suspicion that the Patriot's decade of success is somehow intimately related to NBC/ CBS/ ESPN/ NFL having a vested interest in there being a perennially dominant team in a major Northeast market.

2. NY Jets (9-7)
The Rex Ryan-Mark Sanchez 'we're super serious but also have fun but football is also bigger than life but really, deep, deep down we're football enthusiasts/ purists so you could never really understand our antics because you're not one of us/ an outsider' is getting Jon Gosselin old. For DBSF's psychosomatic health, DBSF hopes this season signals the Jet's return to 8-8 mediocrity where only people from Long Island care about the team.

3/ 4. Buffalo Bills & Miami Dolphins (combined 11-21)
These two teams really should be combined. One wins five games, the other wins six maybe seven; in the end over the course of 32 games nobody is entertained. They are the masters of three-and-outs, and offenses that regularly flirt with single-digit first down totals in a game. Step-siblings of the Browns and Panthers.

AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers (10-6)
Much like the Cardinals, this record is inflated because the Chargers get to play six games against inferior divisional opponents. A la a the Fed, the NFL tempered the inflation via an out-of-division schedule that includes the Raves, Bears, Patriots, Jets, and Packers.

2. Oakland Raiders (9-7)
A decade of top ten picks has to translate into a winning season at some point. Jason Campbell finished off the season strong, and if for once in his career he's able to get time to throw the ball DBSF thinks he could put up a Matt Hasselbeck career-esque year of low- to mid-20s TDs and high single-digitish interceptions.

3. Kansas City Chiefs (7-9)
For purposes of intergalactic balance and harmony the Kansas City Chiefs cannot have back-to-back winning seasons. (Very yin and yang-type stuff.)

4. Denver Broncos (5-11)
For some reason when reminiscing back to 2009 and all the hype about Josh McDaniels' brilliance, DBSF can't help but to think of Deena's father . . .

No comments:

Post a Comment