Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Byfuglien Joins the Cedric Benson BWI Club

Winnipeg Jets (NHL [Hockey {the ice sport}]) D Dustin Byfuglien joined the exclusive organization of professional athletes that have been cited for boating while intoxicated (OPABWI) when according to a report Minnesota police stopped his boat and found that "his eyes were bloodshot and watery, [he was] unsteady on his feet and he smelled of alcohol".

As of this evening the organization consists of just Byfuglien and Cedric Benson, but considering that Benson's jail sentence for beating up an ex-BFF was recently reduced to 5 days, Cedric now has the Bengals week 7 bye week to spend not in a Texas jail but rather potentially getting another BWI. Thus, the organization could increase another 50% in size by the end of the year with the addition of Benson to Byfuglien and Benson. (The existential arithmetic of Cedric Benson existing twice in his own organization, albeit one of BWI'ers, is still being worked out.)

While Benson's citation came at night (which, grant it, driving a boat in the pitch black is virtually impossible without GPS navigation so DBSF assumes ol' Ced fancied 'what harm'll a couple beers do?'), Byfuglien sought to outdo the founding member of OPABWI by supplementing his navigation with muscle relaxants. Right now OPABWI is looking quite reputable but the addition of a Bryant Reeves, or JaMarcus Russell could push it to that Mensa- or 40/40 club-level of prestige.

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