Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Motor City Miracle of the Canadian Football League

Canadian football seems to be sweeping the nation. With its basketball court end zones, 8 teams (yeaaahhh! everyone makes the playoffs . . . how Canadian), and the 55 yard line DBSF thought it appropriate to jump on the bandwagon and offer commentary on perhaps its most infamous play for those still unfamiliar with the game.

Okay, so the non-Expo/ Blue Jay Montreal team is playing Toronto. They're going to kick a field goal, and the holder was wise to line-up just left of the gigantic Wendy's sign.

The other option is to go for the mysterious one-pointer, which's existence is dubious at best. So the kicker goes wide ten yards but fortunately for him in the end zone that also serves as a high school lacrosse field on weekdays, one of the twelve players (no penalty for that twelfth, its standard) on the other team decides he's going to Devin Hester it.

As fate would have it if Devin Hester were Canadian his name would be something like Hunter Smith, so Devin-cum-Hunter has to punt it back out.

Inevitably upon receiving Devin's punt-punt return, somebody who looks like Jason Elam has to reciprocate and punt it back at Canadian Devin. Devin then goes Ronaldinho and tries to ground kick it to God knows who.

Eventually someone falls on Canadian Devin's second kick of the quarter minute, and the Canadian Football League (CFL) reminds every American that the CFL is like normal football with a Dungeons and Dragons amount of rules.


  1. "you've got to kick it oot!"

  2. One of my best characters ever was a chaotic- good half-elf with +18 charisma, +19 wisdom and well over 3500 hit points.

  3. When Donny Wagg got his PHD and became Dr. Wagg his charisma points jumped to +19.


    Travesty of all travesties. Darnell Coogan's write-in campaign for County Exec somehow came up short.

    Campos, Will - DEM PARTY - 10471 votes
    Smith, John - REP PARTY - 108 votes
    Coogan, Darnell - GDP - 6 votes

    The damage this travesty will cause to the Hyattsville-Cottage City Route 1 Corridor is irreparable. I demand a recount.

  4. Les Alouettes marqent un but et battent les Argonauts en Toronto. Shouldn't this be the headline. Remember CFL Games in Baltimore? Good Times, Good Times...

  5. No Scooter, nobody remembers Baltimore's CFL team. Scooter is so old that he drove the Mayflower trucks to Cleveland.

  6. Do you mean music city miracle? This is why I can't talk sports w you.

  7. I believe that DBSF was playing on the phrase "Music City Miracle" by changing it to the Motor City Miracle because Detroit is across the bridge from Windsor, Canada.

    M. City Miracle - surprising football play
    Motor City - Detroit, neighbor to Canada; home to the CFL

    You don't need a flowchart to figure this one out. Either that or he fucked up, as he is known to do.

  8. Music City, of course. All of these posts are usually post-1am and very stream of conscious. Editorial components tend to suffer as a result.

  9. DBSF? I go out on a limb to concoct a barely plausible explanation and you instead come clean.

    That type of honesty is what makes Darnell Coogan a great candidate, but has no place in the DBSF offices.

    Stop by my office later.

  10. canadian football is not cool