Michael Vick: Still having to Waste Time because of how much White People Love Dogs

After arguably one of the greatest games in the history of the NFL at the quarterback position against the Redskins two weeks ago, Michael Vick had yet another MVP-quality outing against division rival NY Giants to take sole possession of first place in the NFC East. (For those keeping record, when Vick plays the whole game the Eagles are 5-0; when he doesn't they're 2-3.)

While most QBs named Tom, Peyton, or Elijah spent the week preparing for their next opponent, Vick was completing community service/ name rehabilitation duties for his dogfighting conviction, which he already served 18 months for starting in 2007. As if his sentence hadn't sufficed, this week's service was especially ironic: Vick had to lecture kids in Connecticut on the ills of dog-fighting. Yes, Connecticut.

Now, DBSF hasn't seen the most recent data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics, but its probably safe to say that children of hedge fund managers, partners of corporate law firms, and the occasional, liberal political science professor (family already had money) likely don't represent the typical animal-abuser.

Sure some salmon or trout were harmed on father-son fly-fishing trips in British Columbia and the occasional Kennebunkport box turtle was left in the trunk of a 7-series for two too many hours, but the fact that the current MVP of the NFL has to spend time during the season lecturing the Wesleyan and Bates class of 2016 on the dangers of dogfighting seems absurd.