Thursday, July 21, 2011

Javier Bardem--NFLPA not Tied to a Deadline; et al

The labor negotiations between the formerly unionized NFL players and team owners either are or aren't close to ending in a deal. Interestingly, the NFLPA sent its President, Javier Bardem, to broker a deal on behalf of the players. On the plus-side it looks like he left his cattle gun at home; but, on the minus side it also looks like he left Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz at home :(

Some good news about the lockout is that for every week negotiations drag on it becomes more and more likely that Albert Haynesworth will be able to make the start of training camp. The mathematical formula is something like + weeks of lock-out = - days of training camp Haynesworth misses.

In the NBA, Delente West announced that he wants to return to the Celtics. Clearly, Delente doesn't subscribe to the 'beggars can't be choosers' philosophy seeing as his Desperado-stint, alleged turmoil with the James family, and fist sights with teammates qualifies his appeal to teams. Then again his drive-thru free-styling game is pretty on point.

Celtic teammate, Avery Bradley, announced that he wants to play overseas during the work stoppage. So do NBA teams, Avery. 6'2" shooting guard that weigh a buck-eighty with a dump in them don't have much shelf life in the NBA unless they're Mormon.

In golf, Tiger announced that he fired his long-time caddy, Stevie Williams. No real story here except that apparently there is a grown man who still goes by "Stevie". (Hopefully, the FBI already has a file.) In fact, there is no news in golf until Tiger starts winning. Until then golf is Men's tennis with better panoramic shots. You think Americans are going to spend their Sunday afternoons watching a couple Northern Irish battle it out somewhere in upstate New York for a million bucks? Considering virtually all Americans have no concept that Norther Ireland is not, in fact, a part of Ireland suggests this to be highly unlikely. (Vijay Singh could always have a resurgence. Yes, Vijay, who possesses the likability of a Ryan Leaf-Amber from Teen Mom Siamese twin.)

In baseball, Adam Dunn is 0-23 on the season when down 0-2 in the count (20Ks), is batting juuuuusst under .144 with runners in scoring position, doesn't have a hit in 25% of the stadiums he's played in this season, and just got his average against lefties up to .031. Fortunately, although he's thought about quitting baseball it won't be until he stops having fun; not, of course, because he's only in the first year of a $56 million contract.

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