Monday, April 25, 2011

The Most Bro Driver

If the name isn't indicative enough, Callaway's new Razr Hawk driver qualifies as the near pinnacle in bro-marketing/ golf technology. (Only adding "laser" into the name would have established it as inherently bro. Such marketing strategies demand a top of the food-chain animal [hawk], something that inflicts harm [razr], a nod--usually anachronistically--to the future [ergo, lasers], and an orgy of power verbs [e.g., "forged" rather than "fashioned".)

The club was "inspired by collaboration" between Callaway and Lamborghini. Presumably, they want us to interpret this to mean that Callaway used Lamborghini's technology to create light yet strong equipment. But, as every made for TV movie "based on actual events" reminds us (i.e., yes, somebody did die in that small Kansas town several years ago, but no it wasn't at the hands of an infant mass murder), this probably means some Callaway and Lamborghini executives put in a long weekend Wailea in which the former treated the latter so Callaway could use the Lamborghini name in a future advertisement.

Next, the raspy voice explains the club is "powered by forged composite". This is another way of saying "we used materials". Because the voice, or his director likely recognized the vacuous nature of the description they add that it's the same forged composite used in "supercars". (DBSF thinks supercars is one word; Google begs to differ.)

This is where DBSF's interest in the ad peaks because when he hears "supercars" he thinks hovercrafts. But, all he's left with is a few quick shots of a Lamborghini taking turns in a warehouse. It is likely the case that the supercar technology was too top secret for the likes of DBSF and, thus, for like national security and general conspiracy theorizing, Callaway & Lamborghini Co. cannot display actual supercar technology (even if it's only being driven/ hovered in an undisclosed warehouse that--let's be honest--is somewhere in central Los Angeles).

Finally, DBSF would have appreciated a post-script to the statement that "23 million turbostratic fibers are forged", which explains the counting process as well as the deviation in the turbostratic fibers per club. So, like do some clubs have only 22.8 million fibers? Simply providing a standard error would have sufficed. In the end, DBSF is left little disappointed when the close-up of the driver head fails to reveal a "Tap Out" emblem.

No comments:

Post a Comment