Wednesday, September 5, 2012

NFL Projections: Divisional Leaders

Having watched zero NFL preseason games and just recently learned that Terrell Owens was/ is no longer a Seattle Seahawk, DBSF isn't on the best grounds to predict divisional winners. So to aid and abet his picks, he researched other online projections, which were all likely based on a combination of the outcomes of Madden games and tribal-regional biases.

NFC East: The Eagles are probably the best team and if Vick can play at least three quarters in 13 or more games they should have a good chance. That won't happen and with the Redskins' having a rookie QB and the NFL still requiring the Cowboys to play games in December, Giants are the safe bet.

NFC North: Something like 16 people on ESPN.com predicted the Packers. Vikings should be a non-factor and it's too difficult to trust a Detroit franchise that is just three season removed from a 2-30 spurt. DBSF is going with the Bears seeing as 21st century Wisconsin doesn't strike him as a perennial winner type of state even though it's made great strides in popularizing efforts aimed at slashing public spending and denigrating teachers' unions.

NFC South: Saints. Probably. Definitely if they had their coach? They finished the regular season on an eight-game winning streak. Barring abnormally stellar play by other divisional teams, the Falcons should be the Saints only competition. Unfortunately, for the Falcons, they seem destined for a decade of 9-7 or 10-6 bridesmaidsdom.

NFC West: DBSF predicts serious regression to the mean for the 49ers. Likely of the 8-8 variety. However San Francisco's competition consists of a team starting a rookie third-round pick, the 1-15 St. Louis Rams, and the Cardinals, whose roster seems to suggest that a season of low double-digit loses warrant a post -season locker room champagne celebration. Arizona managed to close the season winning four of five games so DBSF is going Cardinals because he has more faith in the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe than he does in Alex Smith repeating last season's success.

AFC East: Jets are due for an epic 5-11 collapse. Sanchez will be gone and so will Tebow and Ryan. That leaves the Bills and the Dolphins and if you were to combine their rosters into a single organization, the joint team wouldn't show in half the NFL divisions. Patriots by default and superiority.

AFC North: There are troubling cosmic consequences associated with competitive Cincinnati professional sports organizations. The Cleveland Browns would be best served by one of those UEFA rules that relegates perennially inferior team to a lower league until they merit promotion. Somewhere between the Football Bowl Subdivision and the Football Championship Subdivision the Browns would likely catch their stride. DBSF likes the Ravens because teams that draft better win better.

AFC South: Tie. Nobody gets to go to the playoffs. Texans should win the division and DBSF likes Indianapolis in a distant second. Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert have great potential on paper; on the field it's a different story.

AFC West: Kansas City is one of those teams that should be rolled together with a few of those Florida and Rustbelt NFL teams to create a roster of super-mediocrity. Carson Palmer is making eight-figures after quitting on his last playoff-caliber team because they wouldn't trade him. That doesn't bode well for team cohesion or commitment. If Peyton Manning plays over a half in 14 or more games the Broncos edge out the Chargers with both going 10-6 but Denver taking the advantage in head-to-head games.

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