Thursday, June 28, 2012

Golden Corral: Muchisimo Cotton Candy Por Favor

So as to offset today's Supreme Court ruling, which upheld the Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare, Golden Corral has announced that it will be providing unlimited access to chocolate waterfalls* and home-spun cotton candy on its all-you-can-eat menu. The all-you-can-eat menu, of course, also includes favorite buffet fare, like clam chowder, bone-in catfish, lobster sauce, shrimp scampi, every derivation of thoroughly cooked and fried beef and/ or pork, and 88 desert options in addition to the chocolate fountain and cotton candy.

In other words, the potential billions of dollars in savings that the federal government and already insured Americans could have saved will be neutralized by that contingent of our populace that lives in the same census track as most major interstate exits in the southeastern United States. Fortunately, they'll likely use the same rational that leads one to select a restaurant based on its willingness/ negligence to enable you, the patron, to consume mass quantities of liquefied then aerated sugar, to select a Congressional representative, whom will inevitably set forth a political agenda predicated on enabling his constituents to continue to inhale glucose manipulated into whatever it's least healthful form is for the body in super-human quantities. Checkmate. 

*Is 'access' the right word? It is when talking about water-based waterfalls. 

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious ... good commentary