Thursday, January 5, 2012

John Elway wants Tebow to Fail so He can Draft an Actual QB

After Sunday's loss to secure home field in the first round of the playoffs, the Denver Post interviewed John Elway about the Broncos and the ever-righteous Tim Tebow. On Tebow he said "The key thing ... is to go out, put everything behind him, go through his progressions and pull the trigger. . . When you get into these playoff situations, he's a good enough athlete, you know what, to pull the trigger." Basically, let loose Tim and fire away. Despite being a lifetime Elway fan and being able to discern reality from statistical anomaly during their 6-game win streak, DBSF couldn't help but take some pleasure in seeing the discomfort Tebow's success caused Elway in the press box. Consider that with a 2-5 record, Elway throws in Tebow to appease Denver's massive red state fan base while figuring it also to be the surest way to 2-14 and RGIII and maybe even Andrew Luck. But what happened? Basically the same cosmic forces took action that lead to Powerball winnings and to survival among people that jump off suspension bridges and don't die. Now, if Elway has any hope of drafting a QB and protecting his role as Executive VP of Football Operations with the Broncos he has to resort to psychological subterfuge. Only those individuals who prioritize things like same-sex marriage and prayer in school over the economy and national security when assessing a political candidate's worth can fail to objectively recognize that Tebow's greatest weakness as a quarterback is when he's not a direct snap running back and has to actually throw the ball. Thus, Elway is encouraging Tebow--at the expense of the Broncos' playoff hopes--to go pick-six or bust, which will inevitably lead to one of those Brett Favre Vicodin-blurred games where Favre, believing he was some figurative--and at times literal--gun-slinger and would throw interception after interception because his 8 Demoral breakfast presented distortions and, thus, football-related complications. 

Joe Gibbs thinks the Redskins need a QB. Noble thought. But does he mean like Jason Campbell or Mark Brunell. Or, maybe he meant Todd Collins.

Paul Westphal got fired from the Sacramento Kings, which is like getting denied service at Denny's. DBSF looked it up and Westphal's only been fired three times, but he definitely seems like one of the MLB managers/ Wade Phillips-types who's career consists of coaching awful to mediocre teams for two to three years until the organization decides to go with a virtually identical coach, which leads to virtually identical results. Ergo, Kings will be lottery picking. 

Now that's out of the way, onto the Wizards. From Sports Bog. Words aren't necessary. Pure Wizardry.
And, just when you think things can't get anymore Wizards'ish . . . Andray Blatche goal tends a free throw (fast forward to 0:51).


  1. wiz vs kings--nobody wins/nobody loses. black hole.

  2. double-negative. two wrongs make a neutral.