Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Lendale White > Wade Boggs

DBSF has previously recognized professional athletes' acts of super-human consumption. In that pantheon Andre the Giant reigns supreme as he once allegedly drank something like 300+ beers in a sitting. Relative to Andre the other demi-gods all come off as mere mortals. There's footage of Charles Barkley guzzling what look like consecutive bottles of Petron, and Wade Boggs would supposedly drink 60-70 Miller Lites during cross-country flights. A new-to-DBSF posting alleges that Lendale White, who's best known as a former college stand-out at USC that ate--and apparently, now, drank--his way out of the first round and later the NFL, once downed 75 shots of Petron with Vince Young. White was listed at 245 but probably played closer to 280 so discount 10 of those shots on account of him equaling two regular-sized Eastern European males.

The post sheds light on other peculiar spending patters of the 2006-2008 Tennessee Titans. Supposedly, Vince Young would regularly run up a $5,000 tab at TGIFriday's. Now according to Yahoo! Answers the most expensive item on TGIFriday's menu is the Jack Daniel's Ribs and Shrimp at $24.02.Twenty-four oh-two goes into 5K almost 210 times. There are only 53 players on an active NFL roster so assuming that Vince took the entire team out to dinner (which the article doesn't state) and they all purchased two of the most expensive entrees and spent an additional $25 each on drinks or appetizers then Vince still managed to spend over $1K personally on Diddy Ups and Ultimate Long Island Iced Teas. What makes this even more extraordinary is that the $5K tab at that particular discount family chain restaurant was standard operating procedures for Vince. The post also claims that after home games Vince would go to Morton's and down $600 shots of Louis XIII. Vince likely rationalized this to himself along the lines of, "Hell, Fisher's gonna chew me a new one  for throwing for 138 yards and 3 pics but, hey, there's grounds for celebration--I picked up 45 on the ground and worked  on a weekend. Is it too early to get my Friday's on?"

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

DBSF Downgrades Wizards: No More Dray

DBSF is undeniably partial to Andray Blatche--easily his favorite Wizard since Tom Hammond or Chris Whitney that wasn't named Kevin Duckworth, Ledell Eckles, or LaBradford Smith. When Andray felt like playing and probably dedicated at least 10 hours over the last seven days to basketball-related activities or something resembling physical fitness he had Karl Malone potential. However most weeks after carefully calculating the cost-benefit of expending time and cardiovascular resources at a gym as opposed to a Washington-area discotheque and/ or his couch XBox'ing and/ or Sportscenter'ing the former caused so much blood on the Dray Blatche cost-benefit ledger that it was foolish to ever entertain such options.

Well now Dray is gone and DBSF appears to be the only Wizards' fan remotely affected. (That might also be because of the seemingly inherent singularity of Wizards' fandom. If you want to 'glass half full it' then it also might be reasonable to say that "all the Wizards' fan are--pardon, is--affected by Dray's departure".) Dray signed with the Nets, whom play in a city not exactly conducive to team and basketball commitment for players with an inclination to explore local night culture(s). Upon departing Dray left us/ DBSF one fleeting message:"It doesn't matter where u start it's where you finish". Two minutes later--the perfectionist that he is--Dray re-Tweeted us another, final, fleeting message: "It doesn't matter where you start it's where you finish". Always one to recruit more Dray Blatche fans DBSF will close with Dray's two best tweets from the last two months: "Who tryin to hoop we need more ppl" (August 25) and  "Just missed my flight" (July 28). So Dray.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Week 1 Assessment: Rookie QBs

After Week 1 RGIII possesses the highest QB rating in the NFL. The four other rookie QBs fared far worse and graded from D-minus (Russell Wilson) to F-with potential (Andrew Luck) to F-with potential for vocational schooling (Ryan Tannehill), down to F-with just call the Department of Social Services and get this individual signed up for Disability Compensation and Medicaid as he will be a life-long supplicant of the state (Brandon Weeden). It should also be noted that all of the second-year starters looked promising and ranged from exceptional improvement (Christian Ponder) to solid (Blaine Gabbert, Jake Locker and Cam Newton). Only Andy Dalton--grant it, against a perennially-oppressive Ravens' defense--Mike Tomczak'd it with a 65 QB rating (QBR).

While RGIII was awarded NFC player of the week for his outstanding performance, it's too early to anoint him as the top of the 2012 rookie QB class. The achievement of a road win in New Orleans is undeniable, however RGIII's performance is qualified by the Saints' off-season turmoil which presumably resulted in internal discord and definitely resulted in a one-year interim head coach, and the performance of Redskins' rookie RB Alfred Morris (perhaps another late-round Shanahan RB steal). And, while it likely had minimal if any bearing on RGIII's performance, Drew Brees' uncharacteristic 2 interceptions (he had 6 in 8 home games last season) contributed to the win. It's unlikely that RGIII will repeat week 1's performance many more times this season but DBSF anticipates he'll have the most successful rookie season. Consider the following.

Tannehill and Weeden are non-factors in the rookie QB competition. Their participation on Sundays is perfunctory in nature as the regulations of the NFL demand that the team possessing the football have a quarterback on the field to receive the snap from the center and, thus, signal the start of play--so their presence is more procedural than athletic. DBSF never bought into the Russell Wilson hype as there's a reason scouts overlook 5'11" ex-NC State/ Wisconsin QBs. Luck will probably have more passing yards and touchdowns than RGIII because of the Colts' limited offensive options and because if Jim Irsay wants fans to pay $100+ a ticket for a team everyone knows probably isn't winning more than  six games then he better give them the main attraction throwing the ball 40+ times for 60 straight minutes. In the end, barring injury RGIII will likely end up with the highest QBR and the most wins as Shanahan's system, team circumstances, and schedule are most conducive to that outcome.

All that being said, Brandon Weeden's Week 1 performance deserves closer attention. To provide some perspective on its sheer futility, his 5 QBR was less than half Ryan Leaf's second worst game--a 4-15, 26 yards, 0 TD, and 1 Int in a 1998 loss to the Broncos. It did however surpass Leaf's worst outing--1-15, 4 yards, 0 TD, and 2 int, which equates to a zero-point-zero QBR, in a September 1998 loss to the Chiefs. (Leaf's AFC West divisional play wasn't too strong during his 1998 rookie season. In five games against the Raiders, Seahawks, Chiefs and Broncos he averaged going 9-23, 96 yards, 0.2 TDs, and 1.6 int per game.) In addition to not quarterbacking the worst rookie game in the history of the NFL, Weeden has more room for optimism considering that mathematically speaking his next game will probably be the greatest game-to-game improvement for a quarterback this season in the NFL. If in Week 2 Weeden can complete around half of his passes, throw for about 150 yards and no touchdowns and one or two interceptions then he will have increased his QBR by a multiple of 10-12. (Even Ryan Leaf can't boast that after following up his 0.0 QBR game with a 22.9 QBR [0TD, 4 pics against the Giants] because of complications/ undefined form that arise when zero serves as the denominator.)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

NFL Projections: Divisional Leaders

Having watched zero NFL preseason games and just recently learned that Terrell Owens was/ is no longer a Seattle Seahawk, DBSF isn't on the best grounds to predict divisional winners. So to aid and abet his picks, he researched other online projections, which were all likely based on a combination of the outcomes of Madden games and tribal-regional biases.

NFC East: The Eagles are probably the best team and if Vick can play at least three quarters in 13 or more games they should have a good chance. That won't happen and with the Redskins' having a rookie QB and the NFL still requiring the Cowboys to play games in December, Giants are the safe bet.

NFC North: Something like 16 people on ESPN.com predicted the Packers. Vikings should be a non-factor and it's too difficult to trust a Detroit franchise that is just three season removed from a 2-30 spurt. DBSF is going with the Bears seeing as 21st century Wisconsin doesn't strike him as a perennial winner type of state even though it's made great strides in popularizing efforts aimed at slashing public spending and denigrating teachers' unions.

NFC South: Saints. Probably. Definitely if they had their coach? They finished the regular season on an eight-game winning streak. Barring abnormally stellar play by other divisional teams, the Falcons should be the Saints only competition. Unfortunately, for the Falcons, they seem destined for a decade of 9-7 or 10-6 bridesmaidsdom.

NFC West: DBSF predicts serious regression to the mean for the 49ers. Likely of the 8-8 variety. However San Francisco's competition consists of a team starting a rookie third-round pick, the 1-15 St. Louis Rams, and the Cardinals, whose roster seems to suggest that a season of low double-digit loses warrant a post -season locker room champagne celebration. Arizona managed to close the season winning four of five games so DBSF is going Cardinals because he has more faith in the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe than he does in Alex Smith repeating last season's success.

AFC East: Jets are due for an epic 5-11 collapse. Sanchez will be gone and so will Tebow and Ryan. That leaves the Bills and the Dolphins and if you were to combine their rosters into a single organization, the joint team wouldn't show in half the NFL divisions. Patriots by default and superiority.

AFC North: There are troubling cosmic consequences associated with competitive Cincinnati professional sports organizations. The Cleveland Browns would be best served by one of those UEFA rules that relegates perennially inferior team to a lower league until they merit promotion. Somewhere between the Football Bowl Subdivision and the Football Championship Subdivision the Browns would likely catch their stride. DBSF likes the Ravens because teams that draft better win better.

AFC South: Tie. Nobody gets to go to the playoffs. Texans should win the division and DBSF likes Indianapolis in a distant second. Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert have great potential on paper; on the field it's a different story.

AFC West: Kansas City is one of those teams that should be rolled together with a few of those Florida and Rustbelt NFL teams to create a roster of super-mediocrity. Carson Palmer is making eight-figures after quitting on his last playoff-caliber team because they wouldn't trade him. That doesn't bode well for team cohesion or commitment. If Peyton Manning plays over a half in 14 or more games the Broncos edge out the Chargers with both going 10-6 but Denver taking the advantage in head-to-head games.