Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The $40M Third Baseperson

Perpetually hating the Yankees is allowed and never considered needlessly resentful because in the one major sports' league without a salary cap, the Yanks have come to epitomize the absolute depravity and worst of free agency. They're basically the Sodom and Gomorrah of free agency. If those "pro-family" organizations that for all the troubles and needs this world faces have somehow decided to focus all of their attention on preventing two people of the same sex from ever being able to share a civil union dedicated a fraction of their time to eliminating the ills of profligate free agency the Yankees would represent the tree in the hyperbole of "well if we let two men marry, who's to say some man won't wanna marry his dog or a tree".

(Surprisingly simple solution to this issue--write legislation so only "two human beings" can marry. Literally that problem is now void. Aside #2: Ironically it seems the "pro-family" crowd is rather anti-anything government so then what does it matter that some viciously flagrant violation of the Constitution, i.e., a local municipality, provides a civil service? Isn't any form or iteration government--that, of course doesn't directly benefit pro-familiers--in itself void?) 

So it comes as great joy to many sports fans that the Yankees are scheduled this year to pay $28M to AROD, who not only only is a mediocre third baseperson when he does play but now will collect Eritrea's GDP while sitting on the bench and recovering from a hip injury. In his place they've signed Kevin Youkilis, who makes it all the more sweeter as he starred for years with the Yankees' arch-rivals the Boston Red Sox, for $12M, which means the organization will be paying at least $40M for a 33 year old third baseperson (Youkilis) that batted a career low .235 last year. Should Youkilis get injured the team will probably have to fork out more money for a premier name, like Placido Polanco or Scott Rolen (who if it was the year the Yankees originally signed AROD would be a great alternative). Basically, the Yankees are spending in one year on a declining third baseperson an amount that totals more than two entire MLB rosters in 2010 and one roster in 2011, which is entertaining to all non-Yankee fans as well as that large contingent of Yankees' fans that only begins cheering for them once they make the ALCS. 

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