July 4 Weekend in Review

The Texas Rangers made the news yesterday when they signed 16-year-old phenom, Nomar Mazara, to a $5 million contract. What struck DBSF was not that a 16 year old Dominican received such largesse from an MLB team; rather it was that nobody in the Rangers organization questioned why a 32-year-old showed-up for the press conference of a 16-year-old (Nomar's pictured below). This isn't even one of those Miguel Tejada-I'm two-years-older-than-I've-actually-been-the-last-31-years-scenarios. No, Mazara legitimately looks like an early- to mid-thirties man who's experienced substantial success in importing/ exporting and agribusiness.



Last week DaSean Jackson, a hundred thousandaire probably two or three times over, tweeted that after 17 minutes at a club he had already run up a $10,300 bill. By the end of the night he announced that he had dropped $25K. DaSean missed that Twitter exists for two reasons. First, to let the world know what you thought about that Michael Bay movie. And, second to exhibit that you cannot spell "Michael", "Bay", or "Transformers". Twitter does not exist to promote the fact that you spent probably close to a tenth of your post-tax income at a club where Brittany was your waitress, and you ate a 2006 Kia Sedona with 75K miles in service charges and tax.

Also, DBSF always assumed that after dropping $10K-plus you get a special receipt, or at least the generic black-on-white receipt is placed in some leather-bound gold accented receipt book that you get to keep to illustrate to friends and hanger-ons about your supernatural ability to mismanage money. But, DeSean gets the same crinkled little receipt DBSF receives for his Admiral's Feast and two Lobsteritas (extra Sauza, thank you very much) at Red Lobster. (Perhaps DaSean can take solace in knowing that at least he's not Michael Jordan's 20 and 21 year old sons who tweeted last year that they ran up a $60K tab one night in Vegas. Good work boys. Way to spend Dad's money.)



Finally, Kobe Bryant is rumored to be planning an NBA superstar, international barn-storming tour assuming the lockout goes as long a few hundred young men, who make an average of $5 million a year and have no real interest to make financial sacrifices for, let's be honest, predominantly rich white owners that can't pay the players and turn a profit, believe. The rumored barnstormers include the likes of Russell Westbrook, Derek Rose, Paul Gasol, and Kobe among others. DBSF hopes there can be a coinciding "No Pass-Backs Tour" starring Nick Young, JR Smith, Monta Ellis, Stephen Jackson, and Matt Boner. No chance Bonner gets even one invite over the entire length of the tour to the nightly night out.