LeBron James in Two Years and Two Commercials

Much has been discussed of LeBron's desire to shed the villain image he earned after so acrimoniously departing the Cavaliers for a South Beach team with nobody named Jawad Williams or Antawn Jamison on it. His "Rise" Nike commercial in response to the backlash to "The Decision" epitomized LeBron's effort to cast himself as some dissident anti-hero (with explicit homage to Barkley's "I'm not a role model"). It was almost like LeBron (perhaps at the behest of his courtiers) sought to rebrand himself as the next Kobe or Jordan. But there's no marketing or branding or recreating a Kobe/  Jordan. Those two are supernaturally egomaniacal. They're competition addicts that unlike the rest of humanity are incapable of basking in success. For them competition feeds a beast that always wants more. Only in the immediate aftermath of epochal successes (i.e., NBA Titles) will they hug a trophy and exhibit short-term exigence. But that wears off and they're back jonesing  and expecting to repeat the feat but next time with greater intensity. "Not five rings? Not six rings? . . . " That wasn't LeBron. That was LeBron impersonating what he thinks Jordan or Kobe would think or say. Save his fingernail-biting LeBron doesn't possess that sort of obsessive compulsive, fixated mentality. His gift is that he's the closest thing to superhuman that this generation of humans will witness. It's a combination of spectacular work ethic, intelligence and an ability to transport a large amount of mass with nonhuman speed and quickness. The commercial ends with LeBron asking, "Should I be who you want me to be?"

Which in this more recent commercial LeBron answers that he wants to be who he thinks you [fans] want him to be. After winning his first title, LeBron joins Samsung and fans are introduced to a debranded (or, unrebranded) LeBron. Where in the "Rise" commercial LeBron basically mocks fans for thinking they could understand his position or have an idea what it takes to win a title, the Samsung commercial opens from almost the exact opposite perspective. LeBron is making breakfast for his sons, sharing bites of cereal with them, playfully goofing around over a silly picture, and the scene ends with a shot of (presumably) his fiancee and a text from Magic Johnson, a much more respectable and likable basketball analyst than the "friends (read entourage)" he cites in the "Rise" commercial. So LeBron, the family man. The rest of the commercial consists of a lighthearted man-of-the-people montage: driving through Miami while enamored kids chase after him, stopping to take pictures with fans, visiting a pedestrian barber shop, and taking a call from a coach from his amateur days to remind us that LeBron hasn't changed (kind of mash-up of JLo's "Jenny from the Block" and Us Weekly's "Celebs are just like us" segments). None of this is to say that this 'new' LeBron is disingenuous; rather LeBron won his title and now seems confident in how he wants to present his public image.

Three Iterations of the Same Human Being

None work in refrigeration wholesale. Yet.

Bobcats Trade Matt Carroll for Hakim Warrick

In other related news, Blockbuster Co. has reported that it rented 0 total VHS copies of Total Recall in North America during the third quarter of 2012.

Joey Harrington has no comment on a petition demanding legislative mandate that he stay retired from competitive football.

The Gallatin County (MT) Council has announced that it will delay it's vote on the sale of an open space bond until later in the week when the full council can convene.

The USDA has no plans to change the date of its forthcoming crop forecasting corn yield report.

New academic studies show that an excess of points in contrast to the opposition's point total remains a primary determinant of success in sports.

Amblin Entertainment has made no plans for a remake of 1986's The Money Pit.

C-SPAN3 plans to air its regularly scheduled programming this evening.

CWebb > Shaq

TNT's Inside the NBA stands out as the superior pregame show for all sports. (If you doubt this attempt to follow a Shannon Sharpe-Dan Marino exchange or actually pay attention to what Terry Bradshaw says--that should mitigate any uncertainties.) Inside the NBA is the only pregame show perhaps ever that can be watched as entertainment in and of itself.

Since Mark Jackson left the analysis has been relatively superficial but that means little because an unscripted Charles Barkley is the star. Barkley creates a mock-narrative of the show's cast in such a way that they all devolve into a lot of unspectacular hybrid hoophead-fratbros of which Barkley situates himself as the least spectacular. The show has started to suffer however since TNT replaced Chris Webber with Shaq. See Webber along with the other hosts understood the most important thing about talent on a format, like Inside the NBA.  When there's talent, in this case Barkley, you don't get in the way. You simply provide bits of content in a comment, a color scheme to a suit, or even a run to the tele-screen in Kenny's case and let Barkley react.

Shaq destroys this flow and his ego impedes on Barkley during critical moments of comedy. It would be one thing if Barkley was the fellow egoist, whose shtick was based on belittling others. But it's not. Barkley gets comedy and recognizes that what makes him so likable and humorous is that no matter how much grief he gives Kenny or Ernie he's going to take it back over his weight, drinking,  gambling, or some other personal misstep. Shaq however takes every bit of jesting from Barkley as a personal affront and will often challenge Barkley directly on some insignificant matter that was really about developing off-the-cuff inane comedy.

Here are two examples from this season's TNT telecasts (NBA doesn't allow you to share content so the video isn't provided in the script). In the first, the group is making fun of Shaq and Barkley for a fight the two had as players where Barkley threw the ball of Shaq's head after a hard foul. There's a segment where Mike Tyson jokes that he will "kick Barkley's ass". The producers then bring up a tweet from sport writer, Jason Whitlock, in which Whitlock says he can take Shaq with a few months of training. Shaq goes alpha male and starts yelling over the other commentators about there being no training. With perfect timing Barkley comes in and says, "You need some training too big guy" to Shaq. If Webber were the recipient he would've known to shut-up, smile and let Barkley go for 20 seconds and at the end come back with a rejoinder about Barkley's weight. Instead Shaq abruptly ends the exchange, gets too serious and challenges, "I'll whoop your ass right now too." Everyone awkwardly laughs it off but Shaq has ruined any potential for the segment.

In the second segment, "Shirt Off Competition", Ernie cites a tweet by Jason Whitlock saying that Shaq is out of shape and that Barkley would win in a shirt-off competition. In response to the tweet, Barkley goes into a verbal stream of conscience where he tries to list the West Coast city that Whitlock,his friend, is from. (Ernie informs him that Kansas City is that West Coast city.) During this time the producers put up an image from the previous season of Barkley flexing with his shirt off. Kenny reprimands Barkley for the picture saying it looks like he has cornrows in his chest hair and just as he is preparing to let into Barkley, Shaq yells over the other commentators to reiterate the point that he can easily beat Whitlock, an overweight sports writer, in a boxing match. Fortunately, not even Shaq could ruin this . . .

NBA Week 0.5 Recap

The NBA's decision to schedule Miami-Boston during Wizards-Cavaliers was an insult to the latter team's fans. We already know how far our organizations are from contending. When there's only one other game to flip between it looks like we're  watching two different leagues--Earl Barron wouldn't be allowed in Miami's weight room much less on their team..

NBA owners locked-out it's players last year because the owners felt players took too great a share of revenue. Explain then why one year later, DeMar DeRozan, whose numbers declined in virtually every major category between his second and third seasons, landed a $40 million extension from an organization that hasn't smelled the faintest fart of winning in his three seasons with the team? To top that off Stephen Curry, who's promising offensively but has the ankle structure of a newborn foal, gets a $44 million extension? Either re-negotiations for local TV contracts are projecting far greater revenue for organizations than they were last year, or in 2016-17 when the two sides can opt out of the current collective bargaining agreement DeRozan/ Curry will be their generation's Rashard Lewis/ Arenas for that negotiation.

You have to believe that Juwan Howard saw the Heat's championship ring presentation as his final opportunity for regaining high-income employment. He looked like he approached that 15 minutes like he was lobbying for a major stake in federal highway appropriation funding. Those last two decades of family planning have resulted in a substantial portion of ol' Juwan's wages getting garnished.