Atlanta Hawks: Best Backcourt of NBA Live 2001

DBSF was watching last night's Wizards-Hawks game when he noticed something. Now, DBSF normally watches Wizards games to follow John Wall's progress, to catch the monthly timeout where Nick Young actually looks at Flip Saunders in the team huddle and isn't smiling and/ or waving/ pointing to the crowd, to witness Jordan Crawford suffer from his internal struggle caused by his and only his conundrum that nobody else in the NBA can understand that he's LeBronesque, and (most often) to relive Andray Blatche's life of discontent. (With Blatche if he made his last ill-advised 15 footer then he's all smiles and high-fives; misses result in drooped-shoulder sulking, no eye-contact with teammates or coaches, and it being abundantly clear that the reason his man was wide-open for a dunk underneath the basket had nothing to do with Andray being out of position following some mid-range baseline fade away and everything to do with everyone on the team other than him.)

DBSF noticed that with the addition of Tracy McGrady and Jerry Stackhouse, the Hawks have the best back court--okay, maybe the best 2-3 combo--of any combination of players from NBA Live 2001 (hands-down probably the best basketball game on Nintendo 64 and Game Boy color). All they need to add is Garnett, Tim Duncan, and Dirk and the Hawks have the one through five that everyone cheated and traded for to go 82-0 and win the playoffs and finals in straight sets. (DBSF also recommends adding Juwan Howard, as NBA Live 2001 was prone to artificially injuring star players so there needs to be some, non-Lorenzen Wright/ Alan Henderson bench support. That and Juwan's fecundity--well, state ordered financial restitution associated with that fecundity--demands that he stay employed for wage-garnishing purposes.)

Of course the only problem with this plan is that its about to be 2012 and building a roster of stars from yester-decade might prove inadequate. Fortunately, it appears that the Hawks' management have hedged their bets. They've also added Vladimir Radmonovic, who is physically allergic (it induces bronchitis and the spins) to the defensive-side of the court, and retained Jason Collins, who the Hawks' management will eventually find out is still getting cut a check after which Jason will then be absorbing many cubic meters of space in some other non-athletic profession. Unfortunately for DBSF this Vince Youngesque Dream Team was too much and beat the Wizards by 18. In the Wizards' defense the score would have been much closer but Andray Blatche thought the game was 7:30 Mountain Standard Time--not EST--which limited his pre-game calisthenics and film study.     

Evidence of Super Humans

Chalmers to LeBron to Dwade. Some human beings are just better than the rest of us.

Roethlisberger’s Hat & Nick Young's Stamina

After losing 20-3 to the San Francisco 49ers on Monday night, Steeler’s QB Ben Roethlisberger sported this hybrid fedora during pre-game and the post-game news conference. It looks like if Fox Head and Urban Outfitters collaborated on head-wear. It's probably been worn to several Long Island gym-based  chest, shoulders, and tris sessions. (Let;'s be honest. Nobody's lifting legs



In a Washington Post article on the Washington Wizard-Bullets getting swept for their first—albeit two game—pre-season since 1991-92, Nick Young captured his essence as only he could, and explains why there is such disparity in the NBA between 8-10 elite teams and the 4 or 5 Conference USA runner-up caliber teams. “This lockout caught up to me today,” Young said after going just 3 of 10 from the field. “I got tired kind of early.” It’s the second game of the preseason. Every NBA player that didn’t go back to college or barn-stormed in celebrity tournaments, played professional basketball abroad during the lock-out. Somehow—and to no fault of his own, of course--Nick Young was shocked to learn that not only would the season commence, but that there was this assumption about players maintaining some degree of professional decorum and staying in shape.

It was announced that a former Golden State Warriors’ employee is suing Monta Ellis and the team for sexual harassment after Monta allegedly texted the women sexually-suggestive messages and the occasional dick-pic. Like everyone else DBSF strongly opposes workplace harassment of any kind but its good to see sexting has picked back up after that University of New Hampshire national study showed rates dropping to 1%.

And in case you were wondering--the jersey may change but the face mask stays the same. Do you Rip Hamilton. Do you.

The Supply-side Issues with Knicks' FG Attempts

Today's news that Baron Davis signed with the Knicks arouses a concern for DBSF related to one of the most basic tenets of microeconomics—supply and demand. The addition of Davis presents a problem as the demand for shots is now projected to far exceed the supply of available shots in an NBA game. Considering that the average NBA team takes about 80 shots per game, we’ll assume that a Mike D’Antoni (the Knicks’ coach) 7-seconds-and-shoot team takes 85 shots. In a perfectly functioning market the supply of 85 shots meets demand and there are no concerns. But Melo and Stoudamire take 20+ shots a game each—and must to in order to be effective—which almost halves the supply to 40-45. When you take Toney “Tony with an E” Douglas, Landry Fields, and all-time Wizard great Mike Bibby into account supply decreases to about 15.

After Tyson Chandler’s 5-7 tip-ins and a lapse in D’Antoni’s judgment allows Renaldo Balkman for two minutes to impersonate whatever shots Renaldo Balkman took that afternoon on NBA Live 2012 with Renaldo Balkman, who in Renaldo Balkman’s virtual world either pulls up for a 40 foot three or drives and dunks the ball every time down the court (and plays surprisingly lackluster D even in a virtual world where Renaldo put in the code for virtual Renaldo to have unlimited endurance and 100 shooting/ ball handling/ speed/ etc) and Jared Jeffries makes fans question how someone can be so ineffective at shooting a basketball when the practice that one gains from simply trotting through lay-up lines five times a week has to make one’s familiarity with a basketball and the depth perception necessary to get it in the vicinity of a basket suffice for some semblance of offense, leaves Baron with maybe a shot.

Now in normally functioning markets when demand exceed supply costs rise which pushes those with less demand out of the market and a new equilibrium is reached where supply is available only to those with the high demand. Sadly there’s no substitute for price in the market for basketball shots which means that either Baron Davis is going to take 10 of Melo and Amare’s shots with his trademark fast break 35-foot pulls, or Baron and Renaldo Balkman’s relationship will become increasingly strained as Baron fails to appreciate Renaldo’s efforts to play-out that morning’s Xbox game in Madison Square Garden.

Why Jamal Crawford’s signing with the Trailblazers is for DBSF what news of some Ryan Gosling Directorial Debut is for most other people

Jamal Crawford signed a deal for some amount of time at some amount of money--neither of which are of consequence--to play for Portland Trailblazers. This final piece of news, the team, is of paramount consequence as it means that Jamal Crawford, who is essentially the modern-day Martin Luther King, Jr of the movement against shot discrimination, has landed on a team that combines his two loves--taking shots and passive resistance to defense and the other non-shooting aspects of basketball.

Looking at the Blazers roster Crawford only has LaMarcus Aldridge, who's been having off-season health issues, and Gerald Wallace to compete with for shots. Consider the following names: Marcus Camby, Greg Oden, Kurt Thomas, Nicolas Batum, Earl Barron. Those are guys that shoot as the last line of defense. Literally nobody open, out of dribbles, and seconds left on the shot clock. After those few you start to come across names, like Luke Babbitt and Patty Mills, that if you think for a second that day one of practice Jamal doesn't inoculate in those young men the belief in the absolute heresy it would be for them to even think of taking a shot during a game then you’re kidding yourself.

You see when Crawford signs with a team its very Munich. Like he says he’s going to help the team win and play D and pass the ball, but based on a reasonably large sample size of his ten-plus year career everyone involved knows such commitments are a mere formality. He ain’t winning games, he’s shooting the ball at least every other time down the court, and he genuinely doesn’t care if teammates, fans, management, whoever become disenchanted with him because he wants and is content with such a basic facet of life—shooting the ball at any and every opportunity. It is for this philosophy that his signing with a team where he won’t get less than 15 shots a game that this is DBSF’s very own personal version of what would be for most other people a biopic of David Byrne as played by Ryan Gosling.

Bring Back JR Smith

DBSF gets it China. When a foreigner--in this case an American--signs a contract to play in the Chinese Basketball Association (CBA), and the contract explicitly states that he cannot leave his team--even if the NBA season begins, and even if he is averaging almost twenty-two a night--until the end of the CBA season in March that in theory he should honor that contract. It’s one thing for you to flex that Sino-audacity w/r/t environmental non-regulation, seigniorage and other forms of currency manipulation; but, it’s a whole different beast to basically kidnap JR Smith and not let him return to America so he can hoist an average 0.68 shots for every offensive possession he is on the court, and to celebrate that 4-9 night from behind the arc at whatever of Denver's over-priced urban-themed night club he is fancying at the moment (i.e., "JR Smith night-life zeitgeist"). Watching JR's first offensive possession in China--JR dribbles up the court, goes between the legs three times while unguarded then hoists a 35-foot three--metastasizes DBSF's angst. (But, if there's one thing that calms DBSF's soul and lets him know that JR is somewhat okay, it’s that on every fast break not only does JR pull up for a long three but he never even thinks to look to his open teammates with arms raised on the wing.) China, we gave back Yao Ming when he broke. Don’t plan on reciprocating with JR.

Peyton Manning for MVP?

As more and more Colts' and the NFL's ironically-inclined fans make this argument, DBSF feels it worthy to give heed. The Associated Press award the NFL MVP that everyone cares about however, after a half-dozen google searches it appears the AP doesn't list the criteria based upon which it grants the award. Thus, if the primary criterion is: Who is the best individual player in the NFL during the 2011 regular season? Then it would be hard to pick anyone over Aaron Rodgers. (Note: Quarterbacks are at a substantial advantage to winning the award because they play the most statistically measurable position. Not to mention, they are the only position that get awarded with a touchdown when someone else on their team crosses the goal line.) But, if the criterion is: Who is the most valuable player to his team? Then, the Manning movement deserves consideration.

Sans Brady, Brees, or Rodgers (or Patrick Willis if you're of the type that makes statements solely to incite discord) probably no other player has had nearly the effect on his team as Manning has in 2011. But, without Brady or Rodgers the Pats and Pack are still 5-8 win teams. (Although the Saints without Brees are probably of the Rams/ Vikings ilk, they'd still pull out 3 or 4 because of their home field advantage.) But, prior to this season the Colts win total with Manning playing virtually every offensive down of every game went 10, 14, 12, 13, 12, 14, 12, 12, and 10 from 2010 back to 2002. As we all know without Manning that 9 year average of 12.1 wins (s.d. just shy of 1.5) drops now to zero with 4 games left in the regular season.

Of course, there are omitted factors that might explain the Colts futility besides Manning's absence. The primary one being that the Colts have one of the worst defenses in the NFL. They give up the most points per game, have the fewest interceptions, and pass deflections, the second fewest sacks, played the most defensive plays, and the list goes on. Truly, truly magnificent ineptitude. On the other hand, being up 14-0 in the first quarter or not having to be on the field for 80% of the game because the dynamic duo of Curtis Painter and Dan Orlovsky haven't learned that only in basketball are bounce-passes eligible probably makes for a more rested and, thus, more capable defense.

The call for Peyton for MVP is obviously horseradish and reserved only for the most indifferent Queens'* bloggers who only write about sports because the music blogging scene is too saturated and competitive, politics and finance is so the 1%, and as for art you actually have to go and be seen at the stupid museum and stare at the painting and figure out someway to uniquely interpret another's most inner-personal expression all the while remembering the last eight or so centuries of other paintings, etc just to know if that visual representation of inner-struggle was really just a rendition of some previous artist's genuine inner-struggle which was likely based on something much more visceral, like continental destitute, world war, terrible sexual violence, and not parents saying they'd be unwilling to cover your rent if you lived in the bad part of town. So yeah, Peyton for MVP seems reasonable.

* The Lower East side jumped the shark a decade ago, and Williamsburg is nothing but bunch of financial analysts that shop at Anthropology-type outlets.

The Problem with the Marlins' 6-Year, $106 Million Contract for Jose Reyes

Upon learning today that the Miami Marlin's signed former NY Mets' shortstop Jose Reyes to a 6-year, $106 million contract DBSF immediately had three concerns. First, there's the 'years' issue. Ideally, a team would've given Reyes 3-4 years (rumor has it that the Mets offered $80 million over 5 years). Although Reyes is only 28, his primary offensive commodity is his speed. (Interestingly, the difference in steals for Carl Crawford--another speedster--from age 28 to 29 was a decrease of a mere 72 stolen bases). Considering the inverse relationship that exists between time (after the age of 26) and speed--in combination with the fact that a history of lower body injury and general impairment magnifies the difference--Reyes' worth as an offensive commodity could be waning. In a worst case scenario and depending upon the structure of annual payments, in the final two or three years the Marlin's could get stuck with a Tim Thomas/ Anfernee Hardawayesque contract where the organization essentially pays an individual eight-figures in post-tax income to stay at home.

The second issue is the dollar amount. Reyes has missed 191 games, or almost 40%, over the last three seasons. He would have to play ten more games a season to get to the point that he plays in two-thirds of his team's games. Assuming this happens that means he actually received a 4-year $106 million contract. Paying over $25 million per year for a career .290, aging shortstop with a history of attitude and effort issues, who is essentially getting rewarded for an exceptionally strong contract-year April to June 2011 is kinda contemporary Carl Crawford'ish. Finally, and intimately related to reasons one and two--nobody goes to Florida/ Miami Marlin's games. Because the collapse in the housing market proved so deleterious to South Florida's economy and because the Marlin's play in a state where fan's have exhibited minimum interest in an organization save those instances when the team won World Series on MLS-caliber payrolls, one must wonder where new owner Jeffrey Loria will get the revenue to cover Reyes' contract. If the Marlin's land Albert Pujols, who they are supposedly pursuing, in the quarter-billion dollar range (he already turned down a $198 million contract from the Cardinals) that means that at some point in the next few years the Marlin's could have high-eight figures tied up in just five players (i.e., Reyes, Ramirez, Bell, Johnson, and Pujols, maybe).

Professional American Basketball Returns

It pretty much goes without saying that as the commish to a platform that is essentially dedicated to the NBA, DBSF welcomed the news of the end of the NBA lock-out. While early season Pac-10/ Big East basketball helps distract from the anomie and despite the fact that approximately 72% of Americans identify hockey as "a sport", nothing suffices for the drama, side-narratives, and unparalleled athleticism that comprise the NBA. Thus, it is with this warmest of salutations that DBSF welcomes it back and offers some pre-season analysis.

Upon the start of the season it was announced that Heat g/f Mike Miller will miss the first 8 weeks of the season because just as omniscience and omnipotence represent inherent characteristics of the Judeo-Christian God, and 6 carbon molecules plus 12 hydrogen molecules plus 6 oxygen molecules represent the inherent molecular structure of glucose, Mike Miller is intrinsically injured. DBSF assumes the problem reflects more of a deficiency of the soul than any physical or psychosomatic ailments.

Rumor has it that Chris Paul has told the Hornets that he would like to be traded to the NY Knicks, where Carmelo Anthony's offensive lethargy negates Paul's explosiveness and Amare Stoudemire's growing potential for injury would put Paul in a bit of a quagmire as he'd either have to walk the ball up court to prepare Melo for his half-court set offense, or run and gun with Renaldo Balkman (who is like a bad flu and two missed practices away from the NBDL). Paul's request might be a bit of a challenge seeing as the Knick's non-Melo/ -Amare roster consists of a 35 year old point guard, Ronny Turiaf, who had to momentarily retire for a heart ailment a few years back, and Toney Douglas. If there's reason for optimism for Paul it is that Toney Douglas has zero doubt in his own mind that he is worth a straight-up trade for Chris Paul.

Kenyon Martin and JR Smith, among others, are supposedly trapped in China through March because they signed contracts without an opt-out clause. In the grand scheme of things this probably just means 30 more shots per game for Ty Lawson, Al Harington, and Wilson Chandler to share. But, for DBSF this is his own personal assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. DBSF is as much about JR Smith as it is about the NBA or anything else. Nobody encompasses the shoot-first-ask-questions-last/ 'maaaaaan, I gotta do me' ethos more than Smith. For DBSF, the potential effects of his three month absence will be debilitating and panoptic.

That being said there's no need to dwell on the doom and gloom of a JR Smithless NBA. DBSF still has so much to look forward to: Andray Blatche's first fight of the season with a teammate (probably late-December), LeBron demanding the heat sign Nene (now) and then trade him immediately once injured (March), Tyler Hansbrough establishing himself as a legit 15-10 David Lee-esque NBA 4-man, John Wall scoring 20+ a night while giving up 25+, Derrick Williams coming to the gross realization that basketball is a much tougher hobby when everyone else is your height, weight and has at least your athleticism, and--once the Kings are ten games out of eighth place in the West (some time in early February)--the Maloofs demanding that Paul Westphal let Jimmer Fridette hoist it twenty times a game because to whites that's NHL meets Wes Anderson meets Steve Jobs documentary-type entertainment.